Sunday, August 1, 2010

Dating has gone to hell

Figuratively, of course ....

So I find that a lot of guys around my age seem to have the same problems I do with dating here in the Happy Valley. Let me clarify, 'guys who are atheists' have issues. For one it's difficult for us to go on dates and pretend that we're active temple going RMs, or to lie out-rightly. As opposed to some beliefs on atheists we do have some morals and ethics and a lot of us actually probably hold our integrity a little higher than the sheep of Christianity.

I for one can't lie to a girl if she asks a question about my spirituality. I may skip around the question, avoid answering through some clever wordplay, but if they notice and reapply the question I tell them outright I am not active. If the questioning continues I don't even give a 'oh I just don't know if it's true' I go right to the meat. And it takes them a while to chew sometimes.

In fact I have a date for when I get back, but the girl isn't so sure she wants to know why I'm not active, so I didn't tell her. Seems like a sensible thing to do. She happens to be a friend, recently became single, and so I'm not too afraid of her cutting me off from her friend's list on FB, but I don't think the fear of that happening is unwarrented.

So getting to meet people in a similar situation as me and who live down here or go to BYU I am slightly relieved to find out that some of them have similar problems on the dating scene as well. I avoid 'glad' and use 'relieved' cause it's sad to meet a guy who wishes he had a girlfriend but doesn't. I wish there were more girls who were single, looking for boyfriends, and were doubters like ourselves. Maybe that's too much to ask for - and could be cause I know plenty of girls who are single but don't think they should have to look for a bf even if they want one.

Relatively pointless, sure, maybe I'm hoping some girl will stumble upon this and ask me out for a date, but honestly that's very unlikely, especially since I haven't even told anyone about this blog.

And really I shouldn't complain, cause at least I'm getting dates still, even had a couple flings in the last year and a couple good make-out sessions, though to call one of those 'good' would be stretching it. Maybe I'm just trying to reach out but defend myself at the same time? I don't think I have to, I'm reaching out, but damn-it I wish I had a girlfriend though I'm not desperate enough to make a fool of myself in the attempt. But I think I could make an exception if I met the redhead above on the street.

So pray for me to find a girlfriend ....

ps: This beautiful picture was at a site talking about contraceptives being the death of atheism. As long as atheists choose to not have kids we will soon die out! So the article says. Maybe Mormons have something going for them then, in the long run ....
Unfortunately for theists, I do plan on having kids some day. (theist's thought, "oh God, peleease save those kids") ... I would also date her too.


  1. The doubting ladies are there, I promise! When I was at BYU, my hope was to find a similarly doubting young man, marry him in the temple to appease our families, then move far, far away and become inactive. It didn't happen that way, but it might have, if I'd found a doubting gentleman back then.

  2. That's pretty much what happened to us in our situation. We were both doubters when we got married but sucked it up to appease our families. :P

    We still need to move far, far away. Bleh.

  3. By the way, j-dog, I have a good feeling you'll find someone. There are lots of "doubting" girls at the Y. You just have to be really observant.

  4. I'm not at the Y anymore (a recent grad) but let me assure you that,

    a.) if I were there, I'd love to go on a date, and

    b.) while I was there, I was constantly looking for someone like you, so there must be others out there!

  5. Luckily I am getting some dates now that I'm 'assimilating' into the infidel crowds.

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