Friday, September 3, 2010

Trying to Be Like Jesus

We all want to be like Jesus right? I sure did, and he's such a kewl guy who wouldn't want to be like him? Well, here's some of my random thoughts I've had for a while, all put together in this splendiferous post.

The Hide n'Seek God

God truly is the world champion of hide n go seek. But he is followed closely by:

But truly, you're praying to God, you're told to search the scriptures, go out and 'see' him in the world ... but you never find him. I never found him. I had some interesting spiritual moments, that never amounted to anything or were 'false' according to Mormonism. When asked if he had seen Jesus, 10 years ago I believe, Boyd K. Packer said he never had and never asks anyone else out of the apostles. I guess even they are all still playing the game ....

But really, where is he? I mean, God never does book signings. He has the fanbase for a tour, he could do book signings so fast, not much more than answering a prayer such as making you feel warm and fuzzy for a moment when you pray that you're sad your cat died. Never understood what that meant. Or why I felt warm and fuzzy when I prayed over a doctrine on my mission but then later found out was completely false. Or why I felt warm and fuzzy when I prayed about a girl I was with and thought we were going to get married. God should do book signings.

Jesus the Jew
Anyone who reads the scriptures, or who has read atheistic books that talk about the New Testament don't need me to reiterate the racism of Jesus. He was a Jew, he probably really did exist, but he was not god. The gentile woman who wished for him to heal his daughter is one fine example. First he ignores her, then she really begs, so then he says you shouldn't give your dinner to the dogs, then she is witty and says that sometimes the dogs like to eat the scraps. Then he's like ''woman, you are so faithful!" But yeah, this story always bothered me, I don't care to look it up but you could probably google it pretty easily. I know I have more examples but I don't remember them right now, I'm kind of sick.

Ecology and Jesus

Was Jesus a tree hugger? NO! Not at all. And Christianity is the most anti-environment religion I know, personally. Not so much Mormons, and certainly not all Christian churches, but in general. First Jesus kills the fig tree cause it has no more fruit. Curses it, they come by the next day and it's dead. Horrible! Lol, okay, some people use this more seriously, I'm half joking. In scripture Jesus is making a point and killing a tree hardly seems over-the-top. Don't take this too seriously.

But then what about Christians in general. I have heard many say, to my face, that they don't care about the earth since Jesus is coming back any day now. Well, he's been 'coming back' for a long time and I don't want to hedge any bets on it happening soon. But these Christians litter, don't bother recycling (which has its own issues), don't care about the earth in any way, and don't care about endangered, or any endangered, animals. "Doesn't mat'r, da Gooood Lord be comin' bak any day now, ya heer," they'll say. So, I'm guessing ecology was not a major issue for a racist, kindergarten-game playing, Jew who grew up and lived in the middle of the fuc**** desert. Of course he wasn't concerned about the environment!

Jesus and Dinosaurs!

Jesus rode them around everywhere, loved them, trained them to help out Adam and Eve, and in the end he didn't allow them on the big boat. What a douche! (sorry, I had to throw that one in).

God the Asshole
Finally. I don't care to spend much time on this but it is very necessary to bring up. Everyone brings up the 'why is there so much evil and pain and suffering in the world?' The Epicurean argument (right?) is okay, but moot within Mormonism which states that our pain and suffering helps us to grow in the end, or strengthens us. Okay, a little bit more sophisticated, but ....

What about the four-year-old boy who is raped by his uncle for many years before anyone finds out? Or what about a teenage girl in some totalitarian society who knows something of importance and is captured, gang-raped, and tortured for days till her personality is crushed by her benevolent rulers till she spills the beans? What were these people supposed to learn? What are they gaining from this? Jews who survived concentration camps didn't 'get better' in a lot of cases, some of them lived with panic attacks, health problems, shattered minds, and lots of other issues. What are they supposed to be learning from these things? Does God wish to have a bunch of PTSD angels with him in heaven? Same with animals suffering, what is the reason exactly? Will they someday be reincarnated into humans for learning from their animal lives what it's like to be eaten alive or to starve to death in the Savannah?

I think the 'fact' of evil is just that. There's evil in the world, there's suffering and pain. No supernatural being is in control of it and it just is there, shit happens. I think when we look at it this makes sense. Like Occam's Razor. There is no complicated pattern to it. When a hurricane hits it hurts everyone, good and bad. When a person decides to go on a shooting spree and hurts dozens of people and families, it's just that, the guy (almost always a guy) was just fu**ed up and did it, not caring who he hurt ... unless it was work related.

No, God is not involved in our daily lives, and I don't think some alien being who is aware of us but doesn't really do much deserves to be our 'God' or respect. I do know one thing though - I'd like to see Jesus and Bin Laden duke it out in hide n seek.

1 comment:

  1. I enjoyed this comical look at the theodicy problem -- which is only a problem when religious people try to reconcile a kindly, omnipotent imaginary friend with the painful realities of our world.