Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Something Good to Talk On

Well, I have some BYU stories to tell. First off, I've found some new wonderful people through my blog, it makes such a good tool. In the least it offers 'community' to people who want it, more possible friends, parties, activities, girlfriends, and plenty of single guys cause the ratio of guys to girls is like 2:1. I wish more girls would at least be agnostic about the LDS religion.

Being that some new people have gotten into the group we had a nice turnout last night for the coffee group. And I had one of the most amazing hot chocolates ever. Ever! It was transcendent. But it was nice. And we've even got a nice plug on, though I guess we aren't as cool as CALM. Now, I know we mainly ramble and don't have a led discussion, and some people may have an axe to grind while others want to talk about normal things not related to Mormonism or atheism, or that not all the people are even atheist at an atheist meeting. But we are so much cooler than anyone else, come on. Also, as awesome as it makes me feel to be called the 'one in charge,' I am too humble to accept that title. I will accept the 'smart one,' or the 'cute flirty guy,' or the 'director.' Lol, I did mention starting an official group, but sadly I was not the one who did it on Facebook, it was two other people and me and St. Pickle helped.

Then I found out about one very interesting BYU site - The Locked Lip Project. It seems some girls, probably guys, wish to get some juicy stories from BYU Mormon kids. I even made a post, though from now on I think I will title myself jdog when I do. No one calls me jdog. You guys know where I got it from? Jaydogs (or however it really is spelled) hotdogs southeast of campus. Excellent hotdogs with BBQ sauce. Yum. So, that's the meaning behind my ridiculous nickname for this blog. What was I ... Locked lips, that's right. This may be something to keep an eye on. Or for risque people to make risque posts. Could be entertaining and sexual.

Which I am giving props to BYU. I saw some people painting boards (?) outside the Cannon center and some asian guy was bent over and some girl was putting painted handprints on his butt. Full girl hand on guys butt. Yes. Bring on the sexual tension. Bring on the inappropriate touching. For once BYU students have acted like normal college students (not really, I am exaggerating my reactions, ... obviously) and this makes me happy. I clapped and cheered. Again, no, I didn't. But I did.

And then, as if today couldn't get any better, there was a gay meeting up in Alpine. It was affiliated with the USGAY group at BYU, and was a panel meeting with audience questions. However it was cut shorter than I had planned on. To my slight surprise 2 friends were there that I hadn't known were going, I had a friend with me, and a friend was actually on the panel. The audience was generally concerned people and parents. Bill Bradshaw was there, every word he says is pure gold, and the panelists did a good job taking turns answering questions, and being personable and sincere. I even met one of 'Hermits' friends, but she didn't like me.

Now, I was gonna talk more on Mormonism's issues, or gay penguins, or my exit story, but this was just too much to update on.


  1. Agreed that Bill Bradshaw is amazing. You're aware that he was the mission president over Vietnam during the war while he was in his late twenties? That man has a fascinating history if you ever get to hear him talk about it.

    Regarding the overrepresentation of men in the circles you run in, I think a discussion of the cause would be entertaining. Here's my two cents: Men are scary and Mormonism makes them safe. Allow me to explain. From a woman's perspective, a man is bigger stronger, and unpredictable, and (historically at least) we have more social power. That makes us a threat. Some of the more traditional masculine behaviors, such as aggression and sexual predation, are strongly harnessed by Mormon social norms. Alcohol, which tends to bring out these behaviors, is prohibited. Men's ambition is channelled into providing for children and climbing the ecclesiastical ladder. Men's desire for control is directed into turning them into attentive heads of families and congregations. In exchange for giving up any possibility of ecclesiatical power, women get stable family life and security for themselves and their children. For many women this is a trade they are more than happy to make. Men, on the other hand, see their options limited by a rigid set of social controls propped up by a theology that is fairly internally consistent but does not map very well onto external reality. For accepting these restrictions, men are given admiration and respect from their wives and community. Many men are also happy to accept the trade. For all the talk of women being limited by a patriarchal religion, I think that the argument is stronger that the patriarchy exists to control men, and that women sustain it.

    If women were allowed into the hierarchy the bargain would no longer hold for men. They would lose their privileged position and would no longer have any motivation to accept the restrictions that grant them their privileges. Women would then lose the control over the worst aspects of male nature. For many men, they feel that they can get admiration and respect outside of Mormonism, but for women the promise of docile family men is harder to come by in the outside world. Particularly when they have been raised with an us vs them mentality regarding "the World". Thus, women by and large choose to stay and don't really understand the complaint of women who leave.

  2. I freaking love Jaydogs... or however you spell it. We should go there... soon.

  3. AJ - i miss jdawgs, i want to go eat there now, lol.

    Demosthenes - keen insight. I've talked about this with some people, and I think i generally agree with you. Mormonism does feminize, culturally, men a lot, and reminds them how less they are compared to women. Course it is interesting that the one thing holding men in may also be the thing that drives a lot of them away, but i tend to agree. Also, i found Mormonism to be a rather secure paradigm to live by until I put it all up to question from the outside. Inside it comes off as surprisingly consistent, so again i agree.

    I guess for the women who don't put that kind of security first, or who are not as pragmatic as you are, then it makes sense for them to leave, but then most of them are still very concerned about a future husband doing his part. Which is slightly funny - in Mormonism they were afraid that the church would have their husbands being churchy and sexist towards them, but then outside they are still afraid of men not doing their part in raising a family. Are kids that worth it? Sometimes i want kids, sometimes not so much.

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