tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26923450085702982812024-03-14T00:41:54.161-06:00Godless at BYUA small, second-rate agnostic/atheist blog from a student who is not really truly at the Mormon school, Brigham Young University, anymore, but sometimes visits.j-doghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12418860641735535641noreply@blogger.comBlogger148125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2692345008570298281.post-21129109043776083532013-03-20T15:16:00.000-06:002013-03-20T15:16:05.290-06:00Addendum #1<br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-qpmd5DRLIzQ/UUomfgY3iEI/AAAAAAAAA8c/2eNMGyiTrNI/s1600/196536_10150204991263146_736553145_9123649_334704_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-qpmd5DRLIzQ/UUomfgY3iEI/AAAAAAAAA8c/2eNMGyiTrNI/s320/196536_10150204991263146_736553145_9123649_334704_n.jpg" width="288" /></a></div>
<br />
Hello to anyone who has emailed me in the last 6 months. I went through my emails last Fall, then have tried to keep up with them for the last couple months. I know a lot of BYU students who email me make up new emails, and sometimes I don't reply quickly. But I have been trying to get better at it since some people truly are grateful to meet other students and people who have doubts or don't believe anymore, or maybe are not religious and at BYU, so I have been trying to reply to all emails.<br />
<br />
If you emailed me but didn't get a response, or forgot your email, etc... or changed your mind, but now maybe think it might be fun to meet up with people in similar playing fields as you, please email me again. Best wishes. j-doghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12418860641735535641noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2692345008570298281.post-22835513525172674582012-10-04T19:41:00.002-06:002012-10-04T19:56:03.385-06:00The End - Evolution of a Blog 2012<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-kAutiAvJqjM/UG4-KLRQsvI/AAAAAAAAA8I/K_OW-3tVW84/s1600/557090_10151285633542506_1918450027_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-kAutiAvJqjM/UG4-KLRQsvI/AAAAAAAAA8I/K_OW-3tVW84/s320/557090_10151285633542506_1918450027_n.jpg" width="203" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Hello dear readers. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">As I’m sure many have noticed …
I’m rarely on here anymore! Life has gotten back to normal, well, more regular
since this last spring. For those who know me they probably have noticed that
I’ve been traveling a lot, my online posting has become a lot less
argumentative, I’m back to college full-time and doing good, and I’ve been
hanging out and seeing a lot of girls/women. On my blog you will have noticed
that I rarely post anymore, and that my posts have generally been heading
towards more concise issues, fewer posts about Mormonism, and more posts about
any qualms I have with having moved into such an atheistic and secular
lifestyle. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">As like my post of over a year ago about the
evolution of my blog this post is coming up because I feel my blog has left
another chapter. Or rather, I have moved on into another chapter of my life.</span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-0CDCg1jwh9M/UG48sUKn35I/AAAAAAAAA7o/LPoEFiPYq5Q/s1600/8AfJm.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-0CDCg1jwh9M/UG48sUKn35I/AAAAAAAAA7o/LPoEFiPYq5Q/s320/8AfJm.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I’m no longer working fulltime, no longer dating
Heretic, for a while now actually, lolz. My dad has moved from Dementia to late
Alzheimer’s now and is in a 24/7 care facility. I am no longer truly connected
with a lot of postmo and atheist groups in Utah. I actually left a lot of them,
including the BYU group. I have become a slight connoisseur of wine. I’ve
greatly expanded my travels in the region. And I decided to go back into
therapy to deal with any social issues I feel I have, and to better deal with
the deterioration of my father. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I have long come to terms with that surety of my own
mortality, but I struggle with the mortality of others, from acquaintances and
former friends, to current friends and family. As I explained early on in my
blogging career, I left the church, I admitted I was an atheist, and a month
later my dad was diagnosed with Dementia. This didn’t make me hate God … I
didn’t believe, and his illness didn’t make me stop believing, that had already
happened. But his illness really made me question my stance; if it was healthy
for me, did I truly not believe. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I rarely ever brought this up. I mentioned it at
SHIFT once in discussion, I brought it up lightly with Heretic when we dated, I
never really talked about it with friends. Underneath the surface I was wrought
with pain at the oncoming deaths of my parents, knowing and understanding that
I would first see my dad struggle for a long time. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Then, in March of this year, he was in the hospital
for several weeks, and was diagnosed with late moderate stage Alzheimer’s
disease. This was a devastating time for me. Besides that and no longer having
a full-time job he also was put into a home (the doctor’s were trying to
require it of us) and was expected to cost $8000. Now, lolz, for those who know
me, I get insanely stressed out about finances. It drives me up the wall, gives
me ulcers, causes me to lose sleep, and can put me into a lazy depression. Spring
didn’t start well for me. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">If Mormonism must be mentioned then it is this: the
Church has nothing to help with the elderly, like my 60 year old dying father,
who cannot take care of themselves, or to help the Caregivers. I admit, many
religions and churches don’t, but there are a lot of Christian organizations to
help just with something like this. Point being served: church is invisible by
this time, even to the point of me calling around to authorities and receiving
no callbacks. Even my mother was surprised by the lack of help she received,
even when asking. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">But it is normal for people outside of the family to
not really understand or properly judge the situation that the Caregivers and
victims are in and experiencing. </span><br />
<br />
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God really does seem like an abusive spouse. </div>
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<br /></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">After some more drama and schisms within the BYU
group I left that as well, though by that point I was at a new all-time low. I
had begun hooking up, getting fuck-buddies, and trying to date, one-night
stands, and I had gotten back into doing classes of UofU, but with all the drama
and disconnect from former friends and lovers, I threw myself into therapy.
After a couple intake sessions (cause I had enough issues to warrant two) it
was decided I should focus on different issues at a time, first off by putting
me into group therapy for relationships. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Since then, I’ve been in one-on-one for dealing with
stress, dealing with my dad, and now focusing on trying to get me to stop
burning bridges and self-destructing my friendships … most often cause
something else is hurting me in my life.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">That’s a bit of rambling. But I’m trying to point
out that my spring and summer didn’t start too well, which affected my blog
negatively, primarily by me not checking emails or replying nearly so often as
I should. I did write a mass email out to the last 12 who contacted me since
June. I hope they all received that, and can forgive me for letting them down.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">On that thread, there is a small movement to form a
new group at BYU to garner towards new people, as the old group has evolved
into a group of friends rather than a group of people who look for and help new
people. I have not heard of any new updates with that as of yet. But after a
year of stagnation, and a season of me being off the radar, I think it is time
a fresh group is brought into the picture. I expect this should probably be
done every couple years or so. When I came on the scene there was Taking Back
Sunday; now it’s the Community. Who knows what the future will hold for those
who feel lost, alone, or in need of some people they can be open with. </span><br />
<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I am semi-retired. I have not lived up to a lot of
promises on here, towards posts I said I would write, and mainly that is
because I’m just not that interested anymore. A lot of my podcasts I listen to
and watch now are not related to religion. History and sex advice seem to be my
top two categories, lolz. Mormonism and atheism, and religion and spirituality
… eh, I’m pretty fine where I am now, knowledge-wise. Being that the type of
happiness I’ve achieved, on my own, over the last few months, I feel that
god-belief and religion are unnecessary for me now. Atheism isn’t something I
need to go to and read up on. Mormonism is more false now than before
(especially after getting more involved in mixed dating and seeing so many
couples get divorces, from people I’ve met online, like in the Mormon
Expression group). </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">I really tried hard from my early days to
incorporate a strong agnosticism, like Demosthenes seemed to promote, and I
feel I have achieved that a lot more than I expected. I catch myself, all the
time, saying “are you sure? Do you truly know? Why don’t you ask them?” It’s
made me more sensitive and conscientious to those who DON’T live that way, in
particular, those online who routinely follow a “relativeness” heuristic in
every conversation (meaning, I say one thing, and they categorize me and assume
everything else about me). Still astounded with how many adults do this … must
be a post-Mormon thing. Fundamental attribution errors happen a lot too, as an
afterthought.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">But, the point is, I’m kind of done. I don’t expect
to ever completely stop with this blog. I’ll check it now and then, I’ll
probably write a little more here and there. And if a newer group doesn’t form
then maybe I should help it get off the ground. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">And this is all pretty normal. Most blogs die off.
Irreligiosophy essentially died. Mormon Expression has kind of died. And not
because no one was listening, no, usually at the apex of interest. I still,
even after only a dozen posts this year, average 170 views a day, though over a
120 of those are picture searches, lolz, on average. </span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-QfEM6asMZp8/UG49v09vQlI/AAAAAAAAA8A/PhDWoQtSHVM/s1600/helper_mounted.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-QfEM6asMZp8/UG49v09vQlI/AAAAAAAAA8A/PhDWoQtSHVM/s320/helper_mounted.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">So, this is goodbye for now. I am sure there will be
more posts I’ll make in the future, but no more promises, no more ‘responsibility.’
I would like to be out of Utah in two years. I feel myself separating from the
postmo crowds a bit due to drama that eventually ensues. Religion and
god-belief has taken a backseat in my life, I’ve moved on to more important and
enjoyable things. To anyone who is still reading, best of luck to you in any of
your journeys, and I hope that with whatever you are doing now, and wherever
you are in life, you can admit that things won’t always be great, but that you
have no reason to stay where you’re at if you aren’t happy, or if you’re
miserable. Move on to something else and don’t hold on to the things that are
merely causing you more pain than necessary. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 150%;">Best of luck, ciao. </span></div>
j-doghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12418860641735535641noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2692345008570298281.post-81438927266515737962012-08-20T00:50:00.002-06:002012-08-20T00:53:56.582-06:00When God Matters<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
I have been keeping myself busy with trips, traveling, and people. I apologize to those emailing me, I am very far behind. But being that BYU is about to start back up I will get through my emails and help postmos and the non-religious to find accepting and/or similar people to be around.<br />
<br />
I recently hung out with a really fun girl who used to be LDS, isn't really anymore, would call herself Christian, and does things she would've been taught we're sinful. We've actually known each other for a while but never hung out or anything, and though my mind was occupied with a lot of family issues I had a blast with her. For her she has a lot of self-professed angst, seemingly stemming from the death of a parent not too many years ago while she was in high school. For her the idea of her parent looking down and watching over her, guiding her along when needed, and proud of her achievements, brings a lot of strength to her. Listening to her say things like this off-hand and commonly, I noticed that she rarely spoke about God doing something similar but would mention God in similar threads to that of her parent, just usually a little more vaguely.<br />
<br />
I guessed that she has some antagonistic sentiments towards God, where God deals out justice and law, but where her parent deals out love, comfort, and motivation. She also has some reservations in how she views her living parent, though she expresses a lot of love, she also expresses a lot of criticism. I felt like the girl was a walking cliche at first, but found a lot of the emotions and thoughts to be very complicated, quite fascinating. And in relation to my postmo status and agnostic worldview along with atheism, I found myself having a difficult time relating ... yet desperately wanting to relate. Not that she needed help or a shoulder to lean on, but I found myself lacking in what I could say at those quiet moments where she ceased to speak and where the offer for my compassion hung in the air. But I could not find a personal view on death or 'afterlife' that would be helpful, neither a simple sentiment in regards to her beliefs without either lying or coming across as detached and unsympathetic. <br />
<br />
It not my place to change people from one world-view to another, but I find myself lacking in being able to relate on important topics even though at one point I believed like she does, and I can still remember what that is like. Which makes sense. As my father slowly dies I find myself not being able to handle it well. I recognize, accept, and receive inspiration from my own mortality ... but I lack the calm water of my mortality when faced with the turbulent mortality of others. And I lack ways of being able to relate to those with strong convictions about souls and the afterlife, even though I desperately wish to relate to people like this girl.<br />
<br />
This isn't a sad post or anything, but a very sober post and an admission to the gulf between the believers and the non-believing, especially when it comes to death. Or perhaps this is simply a comment on the wide variety of ways people deal with life's issues, and that my approach is somehow not all that compatible with hers. j-doghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12418860641735535641noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2692345008570298281.post-24432811281615057722012-06-29T01:03:00.003-06:002012-07-04T00:50:02.976-06:00Some Things the LDS Church Should Change For the BetterI am not posting any funny pictures to this post. I am in one of my moods right now. This is something that has been coming for a long time now, mulling over in my head as I listen to podcasts, as I wrote posts on here for over two years. Some of what I say here is not new by any means, but I feel like this list is 'acceptable.' That any member could read this and as a decent human being agree. I try to be reasonable with my suggestions, and I honestly believe that if the Church did these things it would help it as an institution and would garner more respect from me and others who left it behind. These by no means are the entirety of how I feel ... for the most part this is a list of compromises. Especially the Women's section. These are things I think the Church could ACTUALLY do within the next year and would not cause that much of a stir inside, but would help them to gain the support and respect from many outside.<br />
<br />
So here it goes:<br />
<br />
<br />
<b>Own up to their racist past:</b><br />
The Catholic Church comes out and apologizes for things. The LDS church tries to separate itself. I thought racism was discriminating against someone based on their skin color and/or ethnicity. Tell me how blacks not getting the priesthood or being able to go to the temple worship services is not racism? What exactly was stopping them except their skin color? How is this discrimination based on skin color NOT racism? If not, then how would you define Racism? Please, I would like to know.<br />
<br />
This is one of the top reasons members LEAVE the church: the history of racism. If the church owned up to it, apologized to its members, all blacks, and those of the world who detest an evil discrimination such as this, then it would only do them good. As it is now, it is doing them harm. And if some members get upset about it ... then good, the Church SHOULDN'T want those type of people in their community.<br />
<br />
I have met people who separated themselves from the Church because of this. <br />
<br />
<b>Stop using The Miracle of Forgiveness for those raped or molested:</b><br />
I had heard of this before but never gave it much thought till a recent conversation with a former member who has worked with rape victims professionally and felt this was one of the most damaging things in her life. And who could disagree? For those who don't know TMoF is a book talking about all the types of sinning you can do and how Jesus is there to provide a path of forgiveness and love. Its central message is lost in the very judgmental and depressing statements made about sinners. Basically if you ever had a bad thought about a girl in a bikini then you will fear Hell-fire and run to your bishop for forgiveness if you read this book. If you're looking at porn and masturbating, well ... sucks to be you.<br />
<br />
So why the Hell has this book been given (and still is?!) to girls and boys who have been molested and raped? How is it supposed to be helpful in any way? To make sure they didn't '<i>enjoy</i>' being raped? To make sure that, because of being molested for years, they don't have any repenting to do? WTF!??! This is ass-backwards, this is just about the worst thing to do, clinically speaking, to rape and molestation victims. This is the equivalent of getting upset with someone who just told you they are suicidal!<br />
<br />
The Church needs to own this too. They need to release a statement telling members to STOP using the book. They need to apologize to all the members over the years whose suffering was increased by their inept use of a book about condemnation and putting the victim in the hot seat. This is abhorrent. <br />
<br />
I have met people who have been hurt directly by this type of action. <br />
<br />
<b>The Church needs to own up to how its members treat gays:</b><br />
Okay, I've made enough posts about gay suicides in the church, the rates in Utah, the homeless youth rates in Utah, etc ... and if you don't know then do some minor research or follow my links on the panel to the right. I am NOT saying the Church needs to allow gay marriage. I am saying the Church needs to make a definitive and forthright declaration to parents to stop DISOWNING THEIR OWN FUCKING KIDS when they come out as gay or get caught. They need to tell their members to love their own kids. The Church has, in private with specific people, acknowledged that they don't know what to do exactly. Well, regardless, kids are dying and the Church so far feeds the culture that allows this to happen. A statement would remove them from personal responsibility and they won't make it. How it is all happening right now is atrocious. <br />
<br />
They need to own up to the fact that members do these things BECAUSE of their particular beliefs in the Church. The Church can fix this and SAVE LIVES with one statement and it really is not much to ask.<br />
<br />
I have friends who have been disowned by LDS parents for being gay. <br />
<br />
<b>The Church needs to remind women that being a mother is not ALL they are:</b><br />
This is one area that is muddled by ALL the issues going on with women in the church. But the Church has one simple thing they could do that would help a lot of women: remind them that being a mother is not the only thing they are. I'm not saying the Church has to change it's doctrines two-fold, but so many women in the Church get stuck in the mindset of 'motherhood' and lose sense of themselves, lose sense of their own wants and needs, and are reinforced into this through statements about 'not being selfish' and 'motherhood is what you were made for.' <br />
<br />
I'm not saying to give women the priesthood. I'm saying to tell women that they are MORE than being a mother. They are a person. They can have career goals. Not having kids right away is NOT a sin. Not having that many kids is NOT being selfish. How often have we heard of women in the Church who lose their identity because it is swallowed up in their kids and their callings in the Church? Just like gay teens killing themselves, for those women who can't separate their personalities from motherhood and suffer because of it, they are losing their lives.<br />
<br />
The Church needs to switch gears and help women to be '<u>women</u>,' not 'mothers.'<br />
<br />
I know mothers who got so engrained that they forgot how to live for themselves and feel betrayed by the Church. <br />
<br />
<b>The Church needs to own its history:</b><br />
On simple facts the Church could be more forthright and lose fewer members. Some people, such as myself, grew up till older teens believing polygamy was not true, it was all lies! Then we find out it was true and it shatters our world. The Church white-washes its history and this leads to members who are stalwart and want to seek truth to discover these 'darker parts' and end up leaving because the Church '<i>lied</i>' to them. In regards to human history polygamy is not that big of a deal, it is not unique. If more open about their history the Church would not lose more people but retain people ... and not hundreds, but thousands over something like polygamy.<br />
<br />
Some people look into it and find out that in regards to other religions and cultures it is not that big of a deal and go on about their normal lives. Some other people reach that point and then continue ... finding about the polyandry that occurred, like how Joseph Smith who had roughly 33 wives while alive, also had been marrying other men's wives, such as Orson Hyde. The Church can not avoid things like this in an internet age, where, as more and more members leave, the Post-Mormon culture has grown enough to support more mass publications of factual, informative critiques of the Church's history. For those who find out Joseph Smith married Hyde's wife WHILE Hyde was away on a mission for a year ... that blows their mind. The Church could attempt to explain this, show how Hyde actually DID mostly accept the marriage when he came back. They can give doctrinal explanations. So long as they remain silent and knowingly hide bits of history like this then members who stumble across it will fall away, feeling betrayed.<br />
<br />
I know and have met literal thousands who have left the Church based on historical facts about the Church that the Church is not forthright about. <br />
<br />
<b>The Church needs to make the family first, not the church:</b><br />
Bishops donate about 23 hours a week to their calling. Most have full-time jobs. Women are taught to marry in the Temple to BE SAVED and so a non-Temple marriage is that much more scary for them than men. If a spouse falls away often the believing spouse is advised about seeking a divorce to marry a worthy member. Every Sunday part-member families are reminded of how second-rate their home is compared to a full-active family with active children. Gay teens and rebellious teens are kicked out of their LDS homes, apprising roughly 72% of the homeless youth in Utah, though the number of LDS persons in Utah is less than 2/3s.<br />
<br />
These things are the same types of actions you see in the slang-used 'cults' in America. This is cultish, us versus them, and the Church has taken great strides to be more inclusive but it has a far distance to travel still. The Church needs to change the rhetoric about non-members who are in part-member families or active families. These situations show that, at least to the members, the culture and doctrines say to put your family second if they don't put the Church first. If a kid is gay then he forfeits his family. If a wife stops believing, then she forfeits her marriage. If a husband stops believing he forfeits his rights as a father to his children with the right to see them and love them.<br />
<br />
This is despicable.<br />
<br />
Why is it that we can have Catholics married to Jews, atheists married to Hindus, Muslims married to Christians, but that Mormons have such a difficult time with sharing faiths? Having a different opinion, point of view on life, or different faith doesn't mean you can't love each other enough to have a family. The Church gives the impression of 'us versus them' and it means that for members, how the impression is expressed is that they need to separate themselves from those 'others.' This hurts many people, families, children, and non-members, especially those who have no other connection to the Church except to be told they are not welcomed. I recently ran into this myself with a believing Mormon who feels she has to marry in the Temple. Some people have truly wonderful relationships with bright futures, who will end it all based on the LDS beliefs. Regardless of how happy they and their future children could have been or how wonderful the person was to be with.<br />
<br />
The Church has tried to be more accepting lately, even saying that some Apostles came from Less-Active or split homes. The horror stories former members and non-members hear, like ex-wives who run from state to state to keep her kids from her still Christian but now non-Mormon ex-husband are DAMAGING to the Church ... not helpful. I know these people. I know friends who were disowned for not believing. I have friends who are going through divorces or have to fight to see their kids because they left the LDS faith. I cannot think of anything worse then being a parent who has lost the love of their life and who has to fight to have the right to see their kids simply because they stopped believing in LDS theology.<br />
<br />
The Church needs to address these issues more directly and make official
policies about HELPING families, not tearing them apart.<br />
<br />
<br />j-doghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12418860641735535641noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2692345008570298281.post-50278794580259720302012-05-13T17:51:00.001-06:002012-05-13T17:57:13.386-06:00The Big 5 Reasons I Will Not Go Back to The ChurchSubtitle: The 5 reasons I know the church is not true.
<br />
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Which is actually 6 major reasons. I have finished compiling my list, which is probably the biggest general overview I can get (check out the labels I know I'll be using). There's a bit of a tie, but here are the Big 5(6) and there subtitles:<br />
<br />
1 - <b>The Book of Abraham</b> (translation powers of J.S.)<br />
2 - <b>The Adam-God Doctrine</b> (history in the church)<br />
3 - <b>The Discerning Power</b> (with examples such as Hoffman and Lyman)<br />
4 - <b>Teachings versus Actions</b> (polygamy, polyandry, and also 'church funds')<br />
5 - <b>The 'Hetero-White-Man' Discrimination</b> (women, blacks, and homosexuals)<br />
5.5 - <b>The Cult</b> (the psychology of the church and its culture, and the burden of proof)<br />
<br />
They are not yet in any particular order, and as you can see, these 6 things cover nearly every major issue with the church. However, I have personalized them to my opinions and views, and I have tried to tie in major issues I see/and/or experienced to a more general foundational problem (i.e. as the Book of Abraham being a major issue with the church and its claim to 'truth' but also being only a section of the issues Joseph Smith had with translating any and all documents). Also, these topics have little to do with belief in God and atheism (except maybe 5.5) and more to do with the mainstream LDS church.<br />
<br />
I cannot promise that I'll get these out in any timely manner, but I do promise that I'll treat each of these as a term paper, or the like. I will provide sources, I will put the information together in a simple and concise fashion, and I'll let doubt stay where it should. This is not an exit story, nor is it the reasons I left. These issues with the church should be more widely known, especially by anyone who does not 'fit in' with the church, is leaving, has left, or is struggling and perhaps SHOULD leave the church. Same goes for BYU students. I'm still firm in my stance of not trying to deconvert random people, but like I mentioned in the first segment on The Big 5, I get a little annoyed when people say they think the church could be true, or that they know "everything" when they don't.
<br />
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Lastly, I do feel fine posting things like this because ultimately these topics won't deconvert people away from Mormonism. People somehow know a lot about the BoA and just set it on their shelf of things to '<i>not think about</i>.' However, I find very few people, who still believe or WANT to believe, know a lot about a lot, such as a lot about these listed topics. My goal will be to lay them out for anyone in a simple order for anyone curious. It may be a little while before one comes out, I'm sure it will take several hours to write each one up (though I've done a lot of research already) and so, as always, don't hold your breath waiting for me.j-doghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12418860641735535641noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2692345008570298281.post-14177321978916297492012-04-25T17:49:00.000-06:002012-04-25T17:50:44.180-06:00Update!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I feel like nearly two months is too long. I have actually been working on the Big 5 posts. I've listened to a lot of podcasts on topics I think will make it in, I bought a couple books, read a few articles and posts. I'm pretty sure the Book of Abraham will make it to the list as I am learning even more things about it that I hadn't heard before, which is astounding that the BoA could actually get any worse. I think another topic will be a slightly odd one: discerning power. Richard Lyman would probably be at the heart of that, but as I get involved in discussions and listen to some podcasts it seems like 'discerning power' and its failures has far deeper implications. That one will take some work. Adam-God Theory and the 'culture and history' around that will probably be another. I have actually done very little research into the Adam-God ... Doctrine, itself, but I still feel like that topic digs a little deeper into the issue of the LDS Church today, versus yesterday, versus 120 years ago, versus 175 years ago.
I do need to give a shout-out to Mormon Expression Voices and their 20+ episodes they have already. I've had a couple friends/acquaintances have episodes on there and Heather and others do try to keep it entertaining and to find stories that go places maybe the common 'exit stories' do not go. Lately I've been leaving my most recent phase of "Mormonism is so interesting!" and that's been the main reason I haven't completed the Big 5. However, for how much time I've taken already I do believe that I'll be delivering those posts as I promised. It would be a waste to not finish them. Lol.j-doghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12418860641735535641noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2692345008570298281.post-39833430554940492092012-03-01T21:57:00.008-07:002012-04-25T17:50:23.789-06:00The Big 5: Introduction<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-AmcIl9xgXDs/T1BgXzUNBbI/AAAAAAAAA6k/n1uZzIRAdfY/s1600/religion%252Chouse%252Cm%252Cd%252C%252Catheism%252Chouse%252Creasoning%252Ctext%252Cimage-2e195825ebc08efcabbbe39f0df3876f_h.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-AmcIl9xgXDs/T1BgXzUNBbI/AAAAAAAAA6k/n1uZzIRAdfY/s320/religion%252Chouse%252Cm%252Cd%252C%252Catheism%252Chouse%252Creasoning%252Ctext%252Cimage-2e195825ebc08efcabbbe39f0df3876f_h.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5715173889161364914" /></a><br />I've recently had a few discussions about Mormonism and 'anti,' apologetics, and issues with the Church. One was a co-worker, another a person feeling 'in-between' on leaving the church or staying, a couple discussions in the Utah Valley atheist group, or on the Mormon Expression page. Tons of people always say they 'know' about the real problems, they recognize them, but maybe still believe or are in-between. I find there are two types of people who say this:<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Those who think they know the actual issues but don't.<br />Those who know some issues but don't know much about others.</span><br /><br />If I am ever involved in a debate or discussion with multiple people who have opposing polemic stances I usually favor the person in the middle who says, "See, I'm just not so sure." Not because they are unsure, not because they 'appear' unbiased, and not because they are trying to find an answer in the middle (there's no "middle" in a debate on if the Sun is closer than the moon), but because this person is likely to have looked at both extremes and is possibly seeing a bigger picture. They could be weighing both arguments more fairly. They could know more facts and have read up on more opinions to have reached a point of 'not being sure.' <br /><br />Now some of you will have already noticed what I did. But let me make it clear: Joseph Smith was correct, there is no middle ground with Mormonism. At least not in belief. I love Mormon Expression, and I do have a level of respect for Mike and the TBMs who take part in the ME community and podcast. But often Mike has no actual answer to the big issues that get discussed there. He has 'his' answer, he has an apologetic answer, he has a way to throw possible 'doubt' on the issue, but most often he doesn't have answers to the big questions when they are questions against the truthfulness of the LDS church. Same with other people I talk with. Second hand. I should mention I have yet to discuss big issues with any Mormons directly. I simply have never felt the need and they never ask. They never do, and I understand that. Most are afraid. And for me that is one reason to stay away from the church. If you can't even question it, within yourself, then something is wrong with what you are stuck in. <br /><br /><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-fH1lV3m8gR8/T1BgFZZeD2I/AAAAAAAAA6Y/iirZRhmrt2w/s1600/BYU.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 256px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-fH1lV3m8gR8/T1BgFZZeD2I/AAAAAAAAA6Y/iirZRhmrt2w/s320/BYU.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5715173572966485858" /></a><br />With Mormonism, when you get a big picture either you will be like Mike or you become like me. If it is true then you will blind-side yourself to some of the big questions, recognizing you have no answers but ignoring it all the same, or it is false and all those straws form a nice big weight to tear it down. This has nothing to say on attitude towards the LDS church. The church's idea of ''anti'' is quite astounding once you are 'out' of the culture/belief system. Just the fact that questioning it is bad or means you are sinful says enough of the cult-like atmosphere left over as a remnant of the cult the church truly used to be. (and by cult I am referring to any religion that would make you think "1984"). <br /><br />With a couple of these discussions things could be mentioned, like polygamy, blacks and the Mormon priesthood, Book of Abraham. But usually nothing of even what Egyptian hieroglyphs actually are, the polyandry, Masonry, Richard Lyman, or the Kinderhook plates. So, to freshen my memory on these issues, and to expand my knowledge of 'things I do not know,' I plan on doing some reading and studying (like the best sections of Rough Stone Rolling, the Setting the Record Straight series, checking out No Man Knows my History, reading Written by his hand on papyrus), listening (go through more LDS podcasts, ME just came out with a Kinderhook episode which also spurred my motivation), and writing out notes and making big pictures for myself. <br /><br />Now, I am not implying I am 'better' and know so much more. Knowing 'facts' doesn't make me a better person. It doesn't help me be more ethical or drive slowler (the speed limit). But I do get annoyed when people say 'oh, i know what you know, but ..." uh... No. You don't. If you do then you'd ask what I know, you have no idea what I know. And so far I've never met a person who said they did, and then knew some of things I brought up. It seems like only those people who have spent over 300 hours listening to podcasts taking critical looks into the LDS church and who had a year of being lazy on the mission and buying and reading nearly three dozen apologetics books by LDS scholars would know as much as I do. I've wasted a lot of my life on this. And thousands of others have wasted more. But so long as we have gone to the source on these things, we might as well tell others who do not know. That's what I love about ME. I do always learn something new, something I did not know that I did not know. <br /><br />(Holy shit I spelled "Johari" right on my first try! I thought I would not be able to remember what it was, lol) I like the Johari Window construct from the field of psychology. Here's a picture, and I will explain:<br /><br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-2LZPqTUWNHs/T1BfZPaImyI/AAAAAAAAA6M/rlhkIPJxzxo/s1600/Johari_Window.PNG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 255px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-2LZPqTUWNHs/T1BfZPaImyI/AAAAAAAAA6M/rlhkIPJxzxo/s320/Johari_Window.PNG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5715172814370675490" /></a><br />For my purpose I am relating this to Mormonism, obviously. There are things you know that you know; these things are known to others. There are things you believe you know, but are not known to others and therefore may not be true, or at least are not objective. There are things known that you do not know: your Blind Spot. And last, and most relevant, there are things that you do not know that you do not know.<br /><br />Book of Abraham. Most people, who are smart, know there are issues with it: arena. You might be aware that the facsimiles do NOT say what Joseph Smith said they do, while most Mormons are not aware (except Egyptologists like the ones at BYU who read The Pearl of Great Price): facade. There's thing you don't know but others do, like how many critics will point out how we have Joseph Smith's notes next to the hieroglyphs and he was NOT translating them correctly, AT ALL: blind spot. Lastly, the Unknown ... some new details I will hopefully learn soon. <br /><br />The problem is this: #1 - for any TBMs they will say i just used 'anti.' No, i just used facts, and #2 - these are facts readily available to everyone. You can Google what hieroglyphs are and learn in 5 seconds how they are phonetic sounds, not sentences and paragraphs. I have the Egyptian 'alphabet' on papyrus, framed, at home. Joseph Smith's writings, journals from his scribes, and Times and Seasons are almost all publicly available, and that's where we have his incorrect translations. Lastly, the papyrus was found, experts looked at it, including people from BYU. They gave their 'opinions' on what it said and it was not the Book of Abraham. And that's just the tip of that one.<br /><br />I have talked about a few of these things before but over the next month or so I will release more scholarly posts on what I'll deem the Big 5. Book of Abraham, Richard Lyman, and the Adam-God Doctrine will be on there. I feel these three things, put together are probably the biggest issues the church faces from a 'Aha!' standpoint. I'll make the rest of the list later, probably as I go along, who knows, maybe one of these will be replaced by another as I learn more.j-doghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12418860641735535641noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2692345008570298281.post-52249840747341720902012-02-07T19:14:00.008-07:002012-02-07T20:21:44.687-07:00"Diversity Problem"<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-KKxC6XOmcEs/TzHo1XQbaJI/AAAAAAAAA5E/xnR_rgSCyzk/s1600/85509_v1.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 286px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-KKxC6XOmcEs/TzHo1XQbaJI/AAAAAAAAA5E/xnR_rgSCyzk/s320/85509_v1.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5706598206328760466" /></a><br />Disclaimer: i only use this term because a couple friends used it and i think it is a nice title for the 'problem.'<br /><br />For any of my readers who do glance over my posts and the ensuing comments you know that Anonymous came back in one of his many forms to argue against my 'abstract.' But since he did take the time to complain, and then reply to my comments, I feel that maybe I should put a little more time into the arguments themselves. Like I told him, these aren't necessarily "my" views or arguments, and my intent was to give a BRIEF SUMMARY (abstract), but let me expand on this one, because this was one problem I had with belief before I even knew that it was seen as an issue in theological debate.<br /><br />The Diversity Problem, DP, can be summed up as follows: with so many religions and beliefs out there, many of which espouse to be the only way to God/happiness, and many of which all give the same evidence for their beliefs, how are we to know which one is correct?<br /><br />Using this definition it almost sounds Mormony, straight from The Restoration Video. (course, i spend 5 minutes trying to find a youtube video of this ... and can't). But even this definition misses several points of the problem, and maybe the definition should be downsized since it would become a long run-on sentence/paragraph before words caught the entirety of the argument. So let's lay out the DP in a list:<br /><br />1 - Many different religions<br />2 - Many different sects within the religions<br />3 - Many espouse to be the only true way to God/happiness<br />4 - Many have conflicting moral/ethical views<br />5 - Many have contradicting views<br />6 - Many give completely different ways to reach God/happiness<br />7 - There are too many to properly investigate each<br /><br />(i'll probably revise this list at some point, i can see that coming)<br /><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-N26wJLCAL6Q/TzHp4t2qjOI/AAAAAAAAA6A/zws4A4H2Xx4/s1600/35947_10150248848065203_569625202_13993000_4185822_n.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 301px; height: 320px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-N26wJLCAL6Q/TzHp4t2qjOI/AAAAAAAAA6A/zws4A4H2Xx4/s320/35947_10150248848065203_569625202_13993000_4185822_n.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5706599363445951714" /></a><br /><br />This problem eventually approaches Pascal's Wager, which was essentially: if there is no God then when you die that's it, but if there is a God and you don't believe then you go to Hell so it would be better to believe regardless of God's existence. Obviously 'Pascal' words his argument better, but I'm being basic here: he always assumed Jesus was who we should believe in, rather than no gods, but he never addressed the DP.<br /><br />Why shouldn't we believe in Allah? Or Vishnu? Or maybe we should be atheistic Buddhists? Why Christ over the others? <br /><br />Returning to my list:<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">#1 - Many different religions.</span> <br /><br />I've seen several stats saying there are roughly 4200-4400 unique religions in the world. Say it would take, eh, a week of study into each to bet your eternal salvation on them. Couple hours a night, and then studying and living the religion for the weekend. Seems fair, right? I mean, we're saying a good 30 hours or so a week where you focus entirely on it. It is eternity, I'd hate to be wrong. <br /><br /><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-6LhozRR_SbY/TzHpvjMXP-I/AAAAAAAAA50/7wnsqtds-Bk/s1600/36688_405980440932_510380932_5104089_5689685_n.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 279px; height: 320px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-6LhozRR_SbY/TzHpvjMXP-I/AAAAAAAAA50/7wnsqtds-Bk/s320/36688_405980440932_510380932_5104089_5689685_n.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5706599205965348834" /></a><br />I'm 25, I have lived 1,304+ weeks. I don't need to show you all simple math, you get the point, but I will anyway. Say I had been investigating religions since the day I was born, I wouldn't even be halfway! I wouldn't finish till I was around 85 years old. 30 hours every week, since I was born. Rather, let's just say you need to devote 30 hours each week for 85 years.<br /><br />But let me return to something some of you may have missed: I said 4200-4400 'religions.'<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">#2 - Many different sects within the religions/#7 - There are too many to properly investigate each.</span><br /><br />This number is upwards of 80,000, <span style="font-style:italic;">I think</span> there are over 10,000 unique Christian churches/belief systems alone. So maybe 30 hours a week is too much, let's lower it to 10 hours per religion, so 3 religions a week! Then you'd be able to do 12,600-13,200 different sects in 85 years! A little better, but not good enough.<br /><br />And I am not even going to argue about 'burnout' ... though it is eternity so we better not burnout of this salvation searching.<br /><br />Guy P. Harrison also lays out a similar argument in "50 reasons people give for believing in god."<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br /><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-pM5Txgv-Y6Q/TzHpgArlY7I/AAAAAAAAA5o/pKp5rQedkuM/s1600/26060_113980735287982_100000281697635_198142_4941712_n.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-pM5Txgv-Y6Q/TzHpgArlY7I/AAAAAAAAA5o/pKp5rQedkuM/s320/26060_113980735287982_100000281697635_198142_4941712_n.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5706598939003020210" /></a><br />#3 - Many espouse to be the way to truth/god/happiness.</span><br /><br />There are religions which state that other religions can bring you to god, or happiness, etc ... but many do not. This is why searching 'all' of them becomes so important. What if the only way to eternal happiness IS through a specific religion? Pascal says it might so we better put out lot in with religion ... though he assumes his particular branch of Christianity is the right one. <br /><br />Now, some people may be saying, "wait, how does this support atheism? this seems like a 'too long did not listen' type of argument, too much work so give up." Not really. For one I did say this has implications in support of atheism, I clarified that position in the comments on the post from last month, but the DP is a 'problem' more than an argument. I will clearly state the implications soon enough, hold your horses. <br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">#5 - Many have contradictory beliefs.</span><br /><br />This is a response to those who view religions as spokes on a wheel, and is directly related to numbers 4 and 6 (remember, no particular order to the numbers, I'm making this up as I go along). The argument is as such: all religions come from God, each of us can find one that works for us. Or, they bring good into the world, that's why they are all good. The problem with this is getting into some of those implications. Some beliefs in Islam say to kill others depending on their beliefs, though most often you should be nicer to "the people of the book." Christianity ... well, we have a good understanding of Christian history. Even Buddhist sects do not always abstain from violence. Religion does bring conflict into the world, and a lot of it is inherent in the books and teachings of these religions. <br /><br />The contradictory beliefs imply that they cannot all be correct, some have to at least be more correct than others, if not blatantly true and false. <br /><br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-DODMcPtvxvg/TzHpT1yo6gI/AAAAAAAAA5c/J2oY9tuZE3s/s1600/4da4a0b1766f0.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 239px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-DODMcPtvxvg/TzHpT1yo6gI/AAAAAAAAA5c/J2oY9tuZE3s/s320/4da4a0b1766f0.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5706598729921391106" /></a><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">#4 - Many have conflicting ethical and moral standards./#6 - Many have completely different ways to truth/god/happiness.</span><br /><br />To add to this cup then we throw in the teachings and doctrines themselves. Put a Muslim, a Jew, and a cargo cultist waiting for John Frum all next to each other and you will see very different lifestyles (depending on how fundamental they are or which flavor of the religion). Mormonism is one most readers are familiar with. I can't masturbate, look at porn, steal, lie, cheat, commit adultery, drink coffee, drink wine, and I have to have the priesthood, be baptized, be married for all eternity to at least one wife, and have kids. If I don't do these things then I'm not going to be as close to God or as happy as I could be. That's pretty serious, that's pretty direct. Clarity is abundant in Mormonism when it comes to 'your' salvation. <br /><br />The point here should be obvious: if you choose the wrong one then you could be doing something that is actually pissing God off! <br /><br />So, replaying the DP:<br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Too many religions and sects to properly look into each<br />If one is true it is possible that ONLY one is true<br />All state that they are true, most say they are the only true belief<br />All have conflicting and contradictory beliefs and doctrines</span><br /><br />And then the climax:<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">If religion mattered, then how would a loving God require us to find that one true religion? </span><br /><br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-assT_bvhwQY/TzHpDwGsdpI/AAAAAAAAA5Q/ND9cQ4kMNQ0/s1600/Missionary_Service_0.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 256px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-assT_bvhwQY/TzHpDwGsdpI/AAAAAAAAA5Q/ND9cQ4kMNQ0/s320/Missionary_Service_0.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5706598453516990098" /></a><br />Mormonism, in it's sophistication has answers to this of course, but there's no doubt in my mind that Mormonism is false, I've posted plenty of times on major issues with that faith. The DP is not a direct argument against the existence of gods, but it has some major implications towards what kind of god is possible in the world we experience, and what kind of a god would do this. <br /><br />A common quip is that an atheist position may be best. Self-serving but I find a lot of reasons to agree. If I don't believe in God or eternal punishment nor reward, then every bad action is mine alone, and every good action is mine alone. And if not then I best give due credit to those who assist me in adding to the world. If I get called in front of one of the pantheons of gods I would expect deity to skim over me drinking wine and coffee or having premarital sex and looking at the good I did, like enjoying a nice dinner with friends over glasses of wine, or treating those women I become involved with ... with respect. Maybe that cup of coffee helped me to be more alert at work, adding to my usefulness for the money they paid me. Maybe physical affection for me is something that brings happiness to another person. <br /><br />I will post this, but reserve the right to make changes as I reread this in the future. Now that I have spent some time making this post, if you still wish to argue then take some time to respond, or I'll assume you're wasting my time. Ciao!j-doghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12418860641735535641noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2692345008570298281.post-60000550214320995362012-01-27T20:40:00.005-07:002012-01-27T20:58:12.160-07:00Home for the Holidays Part 2<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-nraAa15VoPs/TyNyTs-7vlI/AAAAAAAAA44/FCPFyvFDgq4/s1600/384851_141334795976165_100002989360392_185812_1878630081_n.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 209px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-nraAa15VoPs/TyNyTs-7vlI/AAAAAAAAA44/FCPFyvFDgq4/s320/384851_141334795976165_100002989360392_185812_1878630081_n.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5702527235999383122" /></a><br />A month later I'll finish the post. I said I had a few things to post maybe, but I think I'll only post two. <br /><br />Well, three, because I forgot to mention one thing. Found out a girl in my church back home got a missionary to fall in love with her, so he went home and then the missionaries were pulled out of the area. That's funny. Prior to me arriving in my mission there were a couple missionaries who had been caught swimming with girls at their apartment. Actually, on my mission I replaced an elder who basically had a girlfriend and supposedly made out with her. 19 year old boys, lol, I feel sorry for them with all the people who yell at them. <br /><br />There's a "young man" back home who has talked with me about some of his separate views about the church, especially about gays and Prop 8. I don't wish to go into too many details on that but it is refreshing to see youth growing up in the church who just don't agree with hateful bigoted views that many other members may have. Either under the guise of trying to cure gayness or stop them from having meaningful homosexual relationships to outright hate crimes committed by members. <br /><br />The last thing was the missionaries. They seem like some pretty cool guys. I feel sorry for them for being in the middle of nowhere, but good for them to have fun. One of them is a little rebellious, said he made a zone leader cry. Lolz. They both complained about how their 'higher-ups' were pushing numbers so much. That they needed to go door-knocking more to talk to more people. Having been on a mission, and having had an above-average number of baptisms, I still don't understand the obsession missionaries have with door-knocking. It really is an activity that should not be done. <br /><br /><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-HOGnvw9GQ-M/TyNyGpfkcgI/AAAAAAAAA4s/FaVu0L32OQQ/s1600/4da4a1e0da818.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-HOGnvw9GQ-M/TyNyGpfkcgI/AAAAAAAAA4s/FaVu0L32OQQ/s320/4da4a1e0da818.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5702527011724227074" /></a><br />Anyways, as I'm giving pointers to missionaries, the two of them talked about their half-rate apostasy, which is probably more serious behind closed doors. It was entertaining, and we had a lot of laughs. Shared a couple stories, complained about zone leaders, talked about the cold northern winters. Then they had to go and I decided I wanted to test the waters a little with them. <br /><br />I brought them to my room and showed them one of my framed papyrus scrolls. I have a few but one of the smaller ones is an Egyptian alphabet with the phonetic sounds labeled under them. As a very subtle hint I showed them a couple things, feigned ignorance as to my intentions, and talked about Egyptian hieroglyphs.<br /><br />Then I told them, in a moment of honesty, that I didn't really go to church and for where I was in life it wasn't really for me. They got quiet and listened, probably searching for the Spirit to tell them what to say. But I told them that they sounded like they were having fun and enjoying their missions but that for me there are really no people from my mission that I can just go talk to. It was all about the church and the mission for me. So since I've moved on I have little to no connection anymore and that's a little saddening. Said they should have fun, do whatever they want work-wise but make sure to have fun and build relationships with people so that they don't ever have happen what happened with me. <br /><br />One of the missionaries had this look in his eye like he was piecing together the stories, the papyrus, and my conversation with them, the more rebellious one simply listened. I'd like to think that maybe I planted a seed, not so much of doubt, but showing them that it's okay to not be so crazy-obedient on the mission and that someone who has 'moved on' is still a human being. To be honest I don't really know what my overall intentions were. They probably hate me. lolz.j-doghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12418860641735535641noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2692345008570298281.post-60731733742130210172012-01-22T10:20:00.009-07:002012-01-22T11:24:09.532-07:00What I've Learned Since Losing My Faith<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-FaNW2_MQbyo/TxxNc01C2OI/AAAAAAAAA4I/tIgO21p8moA/s1600/Bigfoot.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 256px; height: 320px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-FaNW2_MQbyo/TxxNc01C2OI/AAAAAAAAA4I/tIgO21p8moA/s320/Bigfoot.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5700516385957009634" /></a><br />Some things I've learned, from my own personal experience, and from others. Obviously this is how it applies to me, so long as I am truthful with myself and not suffering from observation bias. <br /><br />Death is more scary for me, but I am also, paradoxically, more content with the fact.<br /><br />This could be because overall I am living my life more fully than I was before. Such as going skydiving and skinny-dipping, I don't let life pass me by anymore. I want to say to the world, "Veni, Vidi, Vici!"<br /><br />Having fuck buddies or 'one-night' type things don't work; someone will eventually grow at least a little attachment or accrue some expectations. <br /><br />Even in the atheist "community" girls are still concerned of being seen as sluts by other girls. <br /><br />As for myself I am seen as a 'rake.'<br /><br />Sometimes I do a 180 on my views because I perceive them as being Mormony.<br /><br />Other times I have not changed my views when in fact I only have that opinion because I was given it by the LDS church.<br /><br />Often it may be best to conflate these two extremes. <br /><br />I am not a fan of drinking, but a buzz can be fun.<br /><br />When I am drunk I am a ranter, and I think I'm glad for that. Drinking usually seems to exaggerate a person's emotions at the time, but for me it seems to exaggerate my thoughts. I am still an iconoclast. <br /><br /><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-gAyYRFQbYts/TxxNgnYYm6I/AAAAAAAAA4U/euRlVof-oOc/s1600/Certainty.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 256px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-gAyYRFQbYts/TxxNgnYYm6I/AAAAAAAAA4U/euRlVof-oOc/s320/Certainty.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5700516451066616738" /></a><br />Like statistics show I am more likely to help out random strangers through small acts of kindness. This could be because I now feel more compassion for people, knowing we don't have a God to watch over us. <br /><br />I do enjoy dancing, but wish I was better. If I'm surrounded by people I feel much more at ease.<br /><br />Coffee is tasty.<br /><br />I buy little things instead of saving up for larger things or trips. <br /><br />On that note, paying off debt/loans is very rewarding. <br /><br />Atheist books rarely give an exegesis of LDS theological doctrines and theodicy that the 'church' has set itself to.<br /><br />I am loquacious. <br /><br />I notice double-standards far more with sexism: such as my posts of sexism seen in feminist discussion, or how a girl can own a vibrator and we're fine with that but a guy with a flesh-light is a creep.<br /><br />Apropos, I have learned a great deal about my own sexism: such as how 16 months ago I would have disparaged someone who wanted to be a stay-at-home-mom. <br /><br /><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-R2oT4JEVuNM/TxxN_yEPLSI/AAAAAAAAA4g/DgKx-rQJ3_4/s1600/181532_1716884034988_1024841237_1861623_1116964_n.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 238px; height: 320px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-R2oT4JEVuNM/TxxN_yEPLSI/AAAAAAAAA4g/DgKx-rQJ3_4/s320/181532_1716884034988_1024841237_1861623_1116964_n.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5700516986510847266" /></a><br />A part of me wants to go back to church to see what it's like, but I remember why I left and it had everything to do with how much Mormons are taught to love others and what will make everyone happy. I don't want to sit through they're opinions on that. <br /><br />As my father dies and my family comes back together I have vastly improved upon our relationship. I am glad this started before I knew of his condition, and I am grateful for the push by 'ex' gave me with trying to improve the relationship in a more timely manner. <br /><br />As much as I enjoy discussing sex I still find a lot of the discussion pompous and awkward. Maybe I try to talk about so I can get overall any awkwardness on my part, and so I can better understand what people's expectations are.<br /><br />Many Mormon friends no longer wish to be around me, even though for most of them religion never came up in conversation. <br /><br />I still keep my mouth shut on a lot of opinions because I don't see how 'arguing' with someone, who will not give any reasons for beliefs, is of any use. <br /><br />When Mormon's say they've 'heard' everything or know what I know I instantly know they don't. <br /><br />For me there is no going back to Mormonism or an Abrahamic God belief. With what I know now and how my critical thinking has seeped into most aspects of my life I would need to have an actual spiritual experience to go back. And not one that we taught to believe in, like a 'feeling' after reading a scripture, or simply having something good happen after living by a specifically religious standard.<br /><br />In a couple months I will have moved on from belief for 2 years. In that time I have gotten my own apartment, had my first drink with my gay high school buddy, read dozens of books from an atheistic perspective or about other religions, got the best job I've had so far, went sky-diving for the first time, skinny-dipping for the first time and several times after, greatly expanded my genres of music, switched to Bluray, started shopping at IKEA, tried weed, tried adderall, switched schools, lost 24 credit hours in the transfer, learned how a parent will die, slept through the night with a girl for the first time, lost someone important because I took her for granted, spoke to my brother for the first time in years and saw him for the first time in almost 7 years, and gained a whole new group of friends. <br /><br />Several people could say I've gone off the deep-end with all the 'sinful' things I'm doing or tried. I wish that the list were more expansive, more significant actually. I enjoy writing, fiction too, and I read a study years back saying that there is a correlation between the desire to write and the desire to experience a lot of different things. Writers like to experience the world in its fullness.j-doghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12418860641735535641noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2692345008570298281.post-9357816600527532572012-01-07T10:51:00.008-07:002012-01-08T02:03:28.253-07:00The Lunam Atheist Reddit Incident<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-wsz3S1pWf3Y/TwieI5WJfxI/AAAAAAAAA38/iBsE6JwXmOA/s1600/do-not-want-guy-borat-demotivational-poster-1206583157.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 254px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-wsz3S1pWf3Y/TwieI5WJfxI/AAAAAAAAA38/iBsE6JwXmOA/s320/do-not-want-guy-borat-demotivational-poster-1206583157.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5694975604479852306" /></a><br />Here is a post I feel obliged to post. Some people may be aware of the over-sexualized reddit incident with user Lunam, a 15 year old girl who posted a pic of herself with a book her mom gave her. From reading a couple blog posts, such as <a href="http://livinglifewithoutanet.wordpress.com/2011/12/31/shame-on-the-men-in-ratheism/#comment-7883">THIS</a> one, and going through her threads on reddit I feel I have a decent view on what happened. Now, though this may not seem like it sometimes, this is a PR post and a rebuke to anyone who acted this way or contributes in any way in the future to being beyond offensive online and harassing, in this case, an underage atheist girl, who some thought was older at least at first. <br /><br />First, the blog I posted in the link. I did do some research, and I commented on this blog, 4th I believe, so you can see my opinion on the 'post' but it was also this post that moved me to feel obligated to also condemn the actions of those involved with the Lunam incident. So credit was due.<br /><br />I did think that the other blog post brought up some issues I see. Recently I posted a video on the Mormon Expression FB group. The video was this (and is vulgar):<br />http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4JA4EPRbWhQ&list=FLvJZTpVmBbiu2rDDj53rFgw&index=17&feature=plpp_video<br /><br />(usually i have to fix something i did wrong to post the vid so bear with me if it doesn't work)<br />So, the guy has some jokes, he makes some funny ironic points, like the Iran comment, and his argument is true, and he uses one of the girls on The Talk to say it's true, but the way he does is, with his use of words for example, is not really conducive to having people listen. As to some of my concerns with the blog post, but I commented on that already. Also, as a side note, when I post things on FB that obviously are going to start a discussion full of controversy and I say nothing in the title of the post and wait half a day to comment, then, yes, I am trolling, and I want to see what happens. <br /><br />Btw, her's a girl saying basically the same thing, Brittany. So for any girls who don't like hearing this from guys, and you know who you are cause you feel a little riled up with me or the vid and are ignoring what is an obvious issue, then here's Brittany's vid:<br />http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A8lkYsbENeQ&feature=related<br /><br />But all of that can wait till later ... like another day ... maybe, if I care.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-hP0wFBzhlho/TwicZRKba3I/AAAAAAAAA3k/_0Mmm9AfKcA/s1600/super-awesome.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-hP0wFBzhlho/TwicZRKba3I/AAAAAAAAA3k/_0Mmm9AfKcA/s320/super-awesome.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5694973686727797618" /></a><br />Lunam's overview is at <a href="http://www.reddit.com/user/Lunam">this link</a> if you wish to run around a bit. Oh and that is a picture of her, btw. So her very religious mother bought her this Carl Sagan book, which i own but have not yet read (1 chapter in the middle a year ago when i got it) and she was very excited and wanted to post the pic. The following shit-storm that ensued is a little worse than what you may be guessing with comments (taken from the blog i linked!!!) like the ones below:<br /><br />Bracin’ mah anus<br />She is fifteen years old. ABORT THE MISSION. ABORT THE MISSION.<br />You call it kidnapping. I call it surprise adoption.<br /><br />Okay, so that last one is kinda funny, like how rape is actually Surprise Sex! But the issue here is you can make the joke, but you don't usually say it to a person in particular, especially when it is a 15 year old girl. No one sees an issue with this? Here's some more that the blog I linked posted from reddit, I don't wish to change the list in any way:<br /><br /> “Relax your anus, it hurts less that way.”<br /> “Blood is mother nature’s lubricant.”<br /> “BITE THE PILLOW, IM GOIN’ IN DRY!”<br /> I’d put billions and billions in your pale blue dot.<br /> I’d occupy her habitable zone<br /> I’d go at that so hard, my entire body would appear blue on approach<br /> Upvote for creative use of Doppler effect in sexual allegory<br /> I’d read that book so f***ing hard to you.<br /><br />It's pretty bad. And you'd think the girl would be traumatized. Luckily she isn't, but unluckily ... she is partly to blame, at least from the perspective of how this blog posted about the Lunam Incident. Don't worry though, I will be returning to the posters, most of which, I think we can all guess, were male.<br /><br />So Lunam posted this, her <a href="http://www.reddit.com/r/atheism/comments/nuf7i/regarding_my_post_and_the_shitstorm_that_ensued/">REGARDING THE SHITSTORM</a> post that sheds light on some things. #1 - Due to this post it seems she probably has had some time to discuss everything with some friends and this is an excellent reply to the whole incident. This is a very intelligent reply, and I say that cause it sounds like how I would have replied. And it's not me being to self-congratulatory, but that's the type of replies or comments I write, trying to take in all POV and possible scenarios. <br /><br />Main issue is #2 where 'we' learn that it was HER who said 'bracin ma anus' and probably didn't really think about what it would mean to everyone, and to which comments followed. She gave the BF trump card which online does not work well but then followed it all with the comment about being naked in her penthouse. Sarcastic yes, but sarcasm doesn't carry well in written form and for most people that was the final 'open door' chime to go forward with more sexual comments. She seems to have learned from her mistake and realizes how she could have been seen as presenting herself. <br /><br />Now let's set that glass of milk down and start on the meat. First, this is reddit, lots of high school college age people. Lot's of guys. This is an anonymous board. Should we expect all the posts to be from actual atheists? Or that a lot of the comments could be from horny teenage boys her age? Also, that the posters represent a very small fraction of the reddit atheist community at large and that it would be ridiculous to apply what happened here to the larger atheist ''community'' of the world? I hate calling all atheists 'one' community, that's silly, but people will, and that's why I feel a need to get on here and openly discuss what happened and give proper condemnation to the guilty. <br /><br />So the final moment. Regardless if she played everyone up a little and started the sexual comments in the first place, why did it progress, or digress, to the point it did? Didn't someone get on there read some comments and think "hey, this isn't quite right?" I'm sure some did, and like I would have, promptly left. I'm sure some did better than I would have and commented, maybe saying something like ''hey, guys, you need to calm down and be more respectful, this is getting really bad." One issue is that I bet most don't even know how it started, they got on saw the comments, laughed, and joined in. Where, if in real life or if they had a moment to think, they would have been abhorred by the whole "discussion" and would have condemned their own actions. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-2JUeaENInOQ/TwidceS0PiI/AAAAAAAAA3w/aAqkGoLiQno/s1600/shame.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-2JUeaENInOQ/TwidceS0PiI/AAAAAAAAA3w/aAqkGoLiQno/s320/shame.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5694974841303875106" /></a><br />This whole thing is ridiculous. And her comment, "A major topic of controversy was the fact I posted my face. I'm sorry I didn't realize I should have to wear a burka on r/atheism," ... seriously? I mean, unfortunately girls do run the risk of posting pics online, but is reddit so bad that girls can't do it there? What have we come to in the online community if girls can't post pics without being sexualized instantly? Did someone seriously lay out an argument for her to not post pics and it was her fault? I shake my head in a stupefied stupor.j-doghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12418860641735535641noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2692345008570298281.post-40707931472904777012012-01-02T15:03:00.010-07:002012-01-02T15:54:10.531-07:00My Purpose - And an atheist abstract<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-NnqWwEW334E/TwIxnfJ3ujI/AAAAAAAAA3Y/k2fYBFhoHeI/s1600/27261_1112622191812_1714647465_221158_6300482_n.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 316px; height: 320px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-NnqWwEW334E/TwIxnfJ3ujI/AAAAAAAAA3Y/k2fYBFhoHeI/s320/27261_1112622191812_1714647465_221158_6300482_n.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5693167433397287474" /></a><br />As I slowly recover from being heartbroken and come to terms with where I am in life at a quarter of a century old, I am starting to hang out with people more and more. And I guess people have been concerned, or at least have noticed that I'm not too happy as of late, or not 'myself' as some would say. Having been invited, last minute, to a New Years party, with skinny dipping in hottubs an all, I had several people thanking me for all that I've done. Same with a party a few weeks ago when I was really at rock bottom. Email-wise I've had 120 separate, unique email threads started with people contacting me, though some are youtube video replies. Also one of the reasons I forget about people who contact me, sometimes. <br /><br />I apologize, cause in the last few months I have really been detached, and I guess it takes one couple thanking me for helping them to come out to an event where they met each other, or one BYU student thanking me for replying to his email and helping him find friends, or another friend who thanked me for having my blog so that one of his friends could find me and then bring him into the group as well. <br /><br />When I think about all the people I've helped in the last year or so, I guess I have made a difference, in many people's lives, some small, some significant, and some we may yet see. My job suffered in the last few months, getting ready for classes had taken a backseat, U-COR was nearly dropped, and for a month straight I was not there for any of my friends. But in the sense of this, my blog, I also dropped the ball in many ways. Not that I'll start to write more often, but I'll make sure to be more on top of it. <br /><br />Besides this, a friend on FB asked why people in the group don't believe in Mormonism and why many of us are atheists. I made a little abstract, but I'll add to it here and lay it out, a little gift. <br /><br />ps: also, I forget that I even had an angry phase a year ago, with the church, till someone reminded me, lolz. I hope I don't come off as a horrible angry depressed atheist now ... heartbroken sure, and maybe a rant here or there ... oh who am I kidding, if you don't like me then fuck off<br />:)<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-4BvVMsdnYGc/TwIxE87jfpI/AAAAAAAAA20/KLK93stXgHg/s1600/4daf0fd9990d7.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-4BvVMsdnYGc/TwIxE87jfpI/AAAAAAAAA20/KLK93stXgHg/s320/4daf0fd9990d7.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5693166840094883474" /></a><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Abstract: </span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Arguments against existence of gods:</span><br />'<span style="font-style:italic;">Diversity problem</span>' - with thousands of religions, some claiming they are the only true religions, many of which are in open opposition to one another, and all of which have many conflicting doctrines and beliefs.<br /><br />'<span style="font-style:italic;">Hidden Divine</span>' - where there is no actual proof given for one god or religion in particular to set them apart from one another, or to prove that there is at least one deity in existence.<br /><br />'<span style="font-style:italic;">Contradictory Traits</span>' - where we have some obvious, and not so obvious conflicts in being all-powerful, especially in the case of an Abrahamic God being omnipresent and omnipotent. If 'He' can see all things into the future but is all-powerful then he should be able to change the future, even from what he sees.<br /><br />'<span style="font-style:italic;">Fact of evil</span>' - the largest, strongest argument against gods, easily for reasons related to contradictory traits, though some religions, such as Mormonism have more clever answers. However, one basic fact is that we as a society would still hold parents responsible for not saving a child from shooting themselves with a gun instead of holding them with contempt for interfering and saving the child from suffering. Suffering does not always produce better people, often the opposite, and the pain and suffering in the world in so extreme it shatters minds, families, and nations.<br /><br />'<span style="font-style:italic;">Argument against Need</span>' - as laid out by Hawking in 'The Grand Design', Stenger in 'The God Hypothesis' and 'The Fallacy of Fine-Tuning' and physics in general, we generally know how the universe works and we have some strong theories as to how it could have begun, all of which work fine without gods. <br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-1B7tl6rkaSs/TwIxPcL2SSI/AAAAAAAAA3A/34iArm5-L20/s1600/168647_10150384455760601_671500600_16903957_7471361_n.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 320px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-1B7tl6rkaSs/TwIxPcL2SSI/AAAAAAAAA3A/34iArm5-L20/s320/168647_10150384455760601_671500600_16903957_7471361_n.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5693167020283414818" /></a><br />Arguments against theists:</span><br />'<span style="font-style:italic;">Design or Fine-Tuning</span>' - another 'a posteriori' argument. With most of these a bit of thought or research is all that is required, though some footwork will be necessary. The fine-tuning can easily be turned around to show how 'not' fine-tuned the universe is for life to exist, a night-sky is an example of space that you and I could not live in. Design arguments almost always assume A,B,C before giving their point, such as Paley's Watch and so refuting A,B, or C is all that's necessary. Nature does not have 'watches' or the like in it, underlying order does not entail design. If 'like entailed like' then God could as easily be a fruit or vegetable. <br /><br />'<span style="font-style:italic;">Ontological</span>' - an 'a priori' argument. Being an argument of logic, or illogic, the easy form of this is that the universe is too great so God did it, or God is true because the Bible says so, all of which is circular reasoning. Or that if there are infinite universes then God may exist in one, which then entails 'He' exists in all and cannot not-exist. But being all 'logic' based these arguments can be refuted by even non-logical arguments, purely on basic rhetoric, and none of these arguments do anything to actually prove that God exists, they are all 'what if' statements, essentially.<br /><br />'<span style="font-style:italic;">Poor reasoning from the masses</span>' - Guy P. Harrison's book '50 Reasons People Give for Believing in God' is the epitome of this, which is that most people give poor reasons for believing in gods. I.E. my aunt's cancer went away, my son was hit by a car and didn't suffer but died quickly, or I felt a warm feeling an hour after reading some scriptures, or I won the lottery right after I bought a friend a new TV. None of these examples prove anything supernatural and, most important, none of them belong to any one specific religion or purported God. The lottery winner could be Christian, Muslim, atheist, Buddhist, and they all could look at it differently. <br /><br />'<span style="font-style:italic;">Antecedent</span>' - any argument for God already takes a logical leap to state that God exists for us to argue for his existence. This also leaches into the discourse religions put forward, that, especially in Mormonism, we can have libraries of books neatly organizing all the rhetoric and writings into a strong cohesive whole (albeit with much double-speak) but that it all, everything, is pointless when trying to prove that God exists, or that these 'works' have any basis in reality. This is more an argument against God existence, but I feel it is more of the 'fact of pain' trump card for arguing against theists. Of course, most people who would even argue these points would not listen to this argument and would quickly disregard it.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-LRxR66xBa0c/TwIxYnyZWVI/AAAAAAAAA3M/qkenqk0_nDc/s1600/27949_1502064551235_1222851012_31407091_691049_n.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 220px; height: 320px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-LRxR66xBa0c/TwIxYnyZWVI/AAAAAAAAA3M/qkenqk0_nDc/s320/27949_1502064551235_1222851012_31407091_691049_n.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5693167178016708946" /></a><br />I hope this little abstract of wisdom is helpful. I wrote the first part on FB so it was more brief than I wanted, but I hope these help people to be aware of other arguments they may not have known about and now you can go do some research. For arguments directly against Mormonism then just use my link to the right ... and up at the top.j-doghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12418860641735535641noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2692345008570298281.post-15350434122918693702011-12-27T18:50:00.006-07:002011-12-27T19:26:25.664-07:00Home for the Holidays Part 1<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-080whRwkF7w/Tvp70bEavOI/AAAAAAAAA2c/ndbBcGCS1Tk/s1600/Gtfo4.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 316px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-080whRwkF7w/Tvp70bEavOI/AAAAAAAAA2c/ndbBcGCS1Tk/s320/Gtfo4.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5690997219685743842" /></a><br />I went home for the holidays, as if you didn't know or couldn't tell, and in a lot of ways it was a blast. I'll split this up into two parts, for convenience for any readers who still follow my blog, but really this could be done in one. I'm just gonna make it short.<br /><br />First off one of my friends drove me from the airport to my humble abode and with him the discussion of religion came up. Now, he's not LDS but he and I had many discussions about Mormonism in the past. This time we talked about agnosticism more than atheism, and probably talked about specific religions more than religion, but it was fun to be open with someone who is foreign to the 'atheist culture' but open-minded and curious.<br /><br />Going home means I get plenty of time to catch up on TV. Especially when I don't have a computer/laptop to use. In truth I watched maybe 6 hours while home, not very much considering, but in that time I received a barrage of atheist propaganda and agenda. On the book channel I ran into Deepak Chopra and Leonard Mlodinow having a debate about science and religion. The only episode of Futurama I watched was the one where Bender is in space, floating around, with little gnome people living on him (started into it late so I don't know how he got into this) who all worship him like God out of the OT. And he even acts like Jehova such as accidentally setting one of the villages on fire and then trying to blow the flames out and knocking them all out into space. Meanwhile everyone else is using religion to try to find him and asking for help: 'we shall pray for your friend' says the priest, "how about we do something useful instead?" is the reply.<br /><br />The I watched an episode of Wifeswapping, where it was some crazy Latino lady and a crazy religion lady being swapped. Course the religious mom homeschooled her kids, canned food, had homemade milk, etc.... and the dad was right there with her. The Latino mom was all up in their faces saying their kids were robots and didn't have any friends, to which the kids enjoyed meeting other kids at the public school. The best part was the first day the Latino kids went to school while the religious mom was there ... she didn't know what to do! She was like, "I don't need time for myself," as she sat there, bored, so she decided she would make kids if she couldn't be with them at school or home. And before you think I'm referring to her trying to seduce the Latino dad, no, it's much worse. She cutout cardboard kids, life-size, put them in chairs, dressed them up, and played cards with them. Cause she's not crazy at all.<br /><br />What else happened? There were a couple other atheistic/non-religious shows I saw, or brief mentions. I finally saw the Family Guy episode where Peter tells his family history, including how God farted the universe into existence, evolution occurring, and Peter stating that the Kansas State Education Board requires him to give the alternative explanation as well, where Genie comes out of the water, music an all, and everything pops into existence. Point being: i witnessed a lot of debatable things regarding religion in a very short span of time.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-drHQ43ePWRI/Tvp-A0HMdVI/AAAAAAAAA2o/m-zNcl1xztM/s1600/rooney-mara-the-girl-with-the-dragon-tattoo-movie-image-7.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 211px; height: 320px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-drHQ43ePWRI/Tvp-A0HMdVI/AAAAAAAAA2o/m-zNcl1xztM/s320/rooney-mara-the-girl-with-the-dragon-tattoo-movie-image-7.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5690999631589963090" /></a><br />Another movie experience was watching The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo with the rents. Rape scene, minor hit against religion, titties, boobies, nipples, and everything in between, it was surprisingly NOT as awkward as I thought it would be. Probably because by the end my parents were rooting for Lisbeth and enveloped in the story. So I discovered that, by my current age, by virtue of an amazing movie, and maybe by only seeing them a couple times a year, some sex and nudity is permissible and won't make conversations awkward for us. Also, I highly recommend the movie, regardless of nude Rooney, but forgo bringing the parents. <br /><br />That's it for now, I guess. I did have a sudden realization for my perspective on my personal romantic relationships, which came in line with some things with my family, and I had an interesting exchange with some youth and missionaries from the local church.j-doghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12418860641735535641noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2692345008570298281.post-60664437894318400652011-12-22T18:28:00.016-07:002011-12-22T19:36:07.911-07:00My Christmas List of 'Deep' Thoughts<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-r4RkTBoeM-8/TvPhkR6bKpI/AAAAAAAAA0M/SpagKf_skXQ/s1600/08posters-8.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 216px; height: 320px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-r4RkTBoeM-8/TvPhkR6bKpI/AAAAAAAAA0M/SpagKf_skXQ/s320/08posters-8.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5689138767699061394" /></a><br />Well, Hitchens is dead, I've had a recent battle against 'woo,' holiday stirrings and stories, going home, questions about my former Mormonism, slight discussion on if parents' rules for what happens in their house or, separately, what happens in their children's lives. I've also been listening to Christian rock music from a mission cd, Team Jesus, lolz.<br /><br />With all these things I will maybe make posts (such as the Lady GaGa and Patriarchal blessing posts I've promised for years) but I decided I would do something a little more thoughtful. I have, like, five different journals, and one of them is a word document where I put thoughtful insights or quotes I like, little 'one-liners' as I've dubbed them, but most are not necessarily one simple line of thought. I was wanting to post something meaningful for the holidays before I go home, and I decided this probably would be best. I was reminded about the journal when Heretic, my X, shared another blog that had several good, thought-provoking, and introspective quotes and ideas on a post. Some will most likely appear in this post.<br /><br />I won't put any quotations or write the sources. I apologize for this, but I never planned on sharing these till I started sharing some of them in conversation and online, when some people thanked me for the thought. Due to this I never wrote down the authors for the quotes that are not mine. Then some of them are also paraphrases. And lastly, a good portion are actually written by me ... for me. So maybe some of you dear readers will appreciate a look into my psyche. I'm sure some can be seen as cheesy, but I hope people will get from this what they will. Take your time, come back if you have to, but please feel free to read them all. Happy Holidays! <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Qpcbecp3U8Q/TvPnD5kSTTI/AAAAAAAAA1s/agfsSR4nIEg/s1600/4784589367_9f3ff3facc_b.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 246px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Qpcbecp3U8Q/TvPnD5kSTTI/AAAAAAAAA1s/agfsSR4nIEg/s320/4784589367_9f3ff3facc_b.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5689144808477707570" /></a><br />So here is the list:<br /><br />I don’t have to be the one person who feels happy all the time.<br /><br />When someone has had a loss, do not offer condolences, tell them “I take part in your pain.”<br /><br />Only a fool takes offense when offense was not given.<br /><br />Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past will change.<br /><br />In all things strive to cause no harm.<br />Do not overlook evil or refrain from administering justice; but always be ready to forgive wrongdoing freely admitted and honestly regretted.<br /><br />Question everything, and question with boldness.<br /><br />Always be learning: from books, friends, and self. <br /><br />Friends are worth more than opinions.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-IbWZKfAfz5k/TvPhsODG3yI/AAAAAAAAA0Y/lljL2F7C1Mw/s1600/28_Abgestorbene_B%25C3%25A4ume_im_Dead_Vlei_in_der_Namib-W%25C3%25BCste%252C_fotografiert_1997.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-IbWZKfAfz5k/TvPhsODG3yI/AAAAAAAAA0Y/lljL2F7C1Mw/s320/28_Abgestorbene_B%25C3%25A4ume_im_Dead_Vlei_in_der_Namib-W%25C3%25BCste%252C_fotografiert_1997.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5689138904100691746" /></a><br />Always be willing to admit you are or could be wrong right in the middle of the discussion to the other person: not after, alone, to yourself. <br /><br />If you hurt the ones you love most, but treat strangers cordially, then where is the fissure and how do you cross it?<br /><br />There are no true second chances, live with purpose and meaning.<br /><br />If you were to die in a month, would you feel fulfilled? If not then you must motivate yourself to experience more. If never then you must revaluate what you value. <br /><br />Doubt is a virtue.<br /><br />Contentment is when you do not have to climb a hill or walk a beach, to travel.<br /> <br />Stop philosophizing about what a good person is and be one.<br /><br />Asking “why not” can sometimes be as pointless as asking “why.”<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Z7hou1MBwxo/TvPnVIC21tI/AAAAAAAAA14/e8QmAJwTK-4/s1600/85509_v1.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 286px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Z7hou1MBwxo/TvPnVIC21tI/AAAAAAAAA14/e8QmAJwTK-4/s320/85509_v1.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5689145104421803730" /></a><br />You do not want to be the person who dies where no one at the funeral will have anything nice to say about you; treat those closest, by blood and ties, with love and care. <br /><br />If you know money doesn’t buy people happiness then stop spending so much. <br /><br />If you feel motivated to help yourself, then help others.<br /><br />People laugh and smile in groups and in public, and they show no signs of feeling pain. And some may never understand your pain or sorrow, but they can feel compassion and sympathy and these things should not be discarded.<br /><br />Be careful where you tread, you could be treading on other’s dreams. <br /><br />Some things may not be the way you want them, but you must make the best of what you have. <br /><br />Don’t give up, don’t blame others for your failures, don’t pity yourself, never surrender; stand up and fight, believe in yourself, and succeed.<br /><br />Pay back ten-fold what you have hurt, including yourself, and pay forward any excess happiness you currently hold. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-1md5FIj3ubU/TvPh-V36c_I/AAAAAAAAA0k/cOkK-sKTOnc/s1600/6a00d8341c71c353ef01053699093f970b.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-1md5FIj3ubU/TvPh-V36c_I/AAAAAAAAA0k/cOkK-sKTOnc/s320/6a00d8341c71c353ef01053699093f970b.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5689139215438869490" /></a><br />Are you taking away from the world or giving back to it?<br /><br />A laugh should always be shared, and shared laughter is worth so much more.<br /><br />You can buy sex, you have persons to share experiences with, you have family already, you have friends who are willing to drop what they are doing and be there for you; all of their love wholly combined is more than you can ever hope to achieve as a single person, and yet you need one single person to love you the same way for you to be happy?<br /><br />You discover what matters to you most when you lose it. Learn from this, open a dialogue between your mind and your heart so that you don’t have to lose something in order to give it the respect, care, and love you truly feel.<br /><br />You see things from your perspective and never from the outside. <br /><br />Just because you can properly foretell how a person will act or react in one situation does not mean you know them so well as to correctly guess how they will act in any situation; you do not truly know what is in the mind and heart of your friends.<br /><br />We all lie.<br /><br />If you were to wait for advice from a person better than you then you would be waiting for a very long time. <br /><br />The truth about truth is that sometimes the truth does not matter.<br /><br />There is no pattern or miracle cure to misery; no one is ever always happy.<br /><br />We are all in this together, brothers and sisters, family and friends. <br /><br />What do you hope to accomplish with one cruel or insensitive act?<br /><br />Divorce, in life or death, is a necessary conclusion to marriage; be willing to let go, that is all that is required. <br /><br />Anger is not necessarily bad, but it must be harnessed and only as a fuel to bring about some good, and not merely a mean to an ends.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-X2aP45pMzDU/TvPi2kwqKcI/AAAAAAAAA0w/JCiJ8Jay-QY/s1600/18_06_2008_0014390001213809309_david_doubilet.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 213px; height: 320px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-X2aP45pMzDU/TvPi2kwqKcI/AAAAAAAAA0w/JCiJ8Jay-QY/s320/18_06_2008_0014390001213809309_david_doubilet.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5689140181507647938" /></a><br />Misery is a friend everyone has but no one enjoys having this friend shared with them.<br /><br />Compassion does not smother the cold flame of misery but compassion can soothe the burn. <br /><br />Depression, for all its faults, is a deep and powerful emotion and can be used.<br /><br />Every moment of your life you are destroying the universe, whether you wish to or not; do not be idle, but give back either through adding to the world or to your own happiness. <br /><br />With all things always take a moment to appreciate the here and now to fully grasp at what you experiencing. <br /><br />If someone does something truly amazing for you then you must tell it from the rooftops; never stop praising the secret, good actions of others and always respect their wishes.<br /><br />If you cannot set aside an hour to walk and talk with a friend or loved one then you need to decide how important they would be to you if you lost them forever.<br /><br />If others know you are critical of them do they know how critical you are of yourself, and does it truly matter if they know or should you instead be less critical?<br /><br />Compassion comes from knowledge, not experience. Empathy comes from experience, not necessarily knowledge. Knowing and experiencing something are quite different but are the results, the emotions, so dissimilar?<br /><br />If two things make people, oddly, miserable, those being having too many options to choose from, and not having to struggle to succeed in life, then you must cherish your trials and limitations, and find strength in your weaknesses and joy in the faults of others. <br /><br />You should have only one gear: go.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-yidso9gXiV4/TvPja5XHSSI/AAAAAAAAA08/uo6Chuc422c/s1600/020.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 180px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-yidso9gXiV4/TvPja5XHSSI/AAAAAAAAA08/uo6Chuc422c/s320/020.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5689140805512939810" /></a><br />Do not reach the end of your life full of regrets of the things you did not do.<br /><br />Argue against the rhetoric, move against the flow of the river, be your own entity. <br /><br />If you learn you were wrong about someone’s supposed offense against you then you must seek their forgiveness straight away. <br /><br />This time, like all times, is a very good one. <br /><br />Never criticize or make light of someone’s action that has helped another.<br /> <br />Some pathetic people can only express love through broken and hurtful means; you do not have to take this, but try to understand why they do this and how much they truly love you. <br /><br />We all hurt the ones we love.<br /><br />We all make mistakes and forgive ourselves a hundred times a day; it would not hurt to forgive others even once. <br /><br />Empathy comes with experience, and sometimes that experience must be taught rather than learned. <br /><br />You should daydream each and every day.<br /><br />Are you good enough?<br /><br />Even murderers and rapists can still love.<br /><br />Never ask a friend to forgive another, it is not your place. Offer wisdom, but not advice.<br /><br />If you avoid people because they tire you, then do you also avoid exercise because it wears you out? Where is your need for growth?<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-qZUmFI9RkBk/TvPkjJ-d_KI/AAAAAAAAA1I/sf6M1vB6RKg/s1600/4239187312_f5b1468906_o.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 203px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-qZUmFI9RkBk/TvPkjJ-d_KI/AAAAAAAAA1I/sf6M1vB6RKg/s320/4239187312_f5b1468906_o.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5689142046923553954" /></a><br />When you experience a black hole moment use the intensity to reaffirm your goals in life; do not go out with a whimper. <br /><br />When feeling empty, friends can easily make you forget you have a space needing filling at all. <br /><br />If nothing can remove the feeling of emptiness then you are keeping yourself there. <br /><br />Momentary pleasures do not give purpose to life and will eventually fade, but they are not to be discarded either. <br /><br />Beauty may be important but it will be her personality that can destroy you.<br /><br />Somehow nothing can compare to being in love and the contentment and meaning to life that comes with it; and with so much invested is it any wonder that it will hurt you one day? <br /><br />If the hate won’t suffocate the love then how do you ever get over past lovers?<br /><br />If nothing will change then lean back and enjoy the show. <br /><br />Even worst enemies would not wish some things upon those they hate.<br /><br />Evil intentions destroy themselves eventually. <br /><br />If you can’t even learn from your own advice then how will you ever improve?<br /><br />Do not think of yourself as so smart as to call your advice “sage” by any means.<br /><br />You will never do everything you want or could. Reel in ambition and be reasonable, but never give up your dreams to anyone or anything; live.<br /><br />I am a person who says I am a realist, though comes off as a pessimist, and yet is secretly an optimist. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-D1kEHsYBkHA/TvPlfQn3vDI/AAAAAAAAA1U/68oK8as-ZC4/s1600/592e5118-aff1-4437-af71-e378bdd056b8.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 181px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-D1kEHsYBkHA/TvPlfQn3vDI/AAAAAAAAA1U/68oK8as-ZC4/s320/592e5118-aff1-4437-af71-e378bdd056b8.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5689143079499971634" /></a><br />If you have loved and lost then at least you have tasted those emotions, felt as one with another, and graced the sky; bittersweet has only one true embodiment and many would call it a victory.<br /><br />The neurons in my skull, if lined up end to end, would wrap around the earth and stretch to the moon.<br /><br />I am made of stardust; the stars died so I could be here and someday I shall return.<br /><br />The atoms in my left hand are from different stars than the atoms in my left hand; I am a representation of the interconnectedness of the universe and to see this I merely have to look at my palms. <br /><br />When I die I wish to be buried and not burned so that my energy content can be returned to the earth so that fora and fauna may dine on me as I have dined on fora and fauna throughout my life.<br /><br />If you’ve never seen the southern hemisphere night sky then you have not seen half the universe. <br /><br />If a person is happy and loving their fellow human beings, then I have no reason to assault their beliefs except to gratify my own pride.<br /><br />In the end it is actions that matter; I can care less why a person would do a good thing, except that they do it and keep doing so.<br /><br />Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy.<br /><br />If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you. You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot. Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-v3nLlbPPD6c/TvPm6F8HAQI/AAAAAAAAA1g/TSFB7DGLOTQ/s1600/163486_10150089899890897_518540896_5977596_1665844_n.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-v3nLlbPPD6c/TvPm6F8HAQI/AAAAAAAAA1g/TSFB7DGLOTQ/s320/163486_10150089899890897_518540896_5977596_1665844_n.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5689144640000164098" /></a><br />Stop berating yourself for old mistakes.<br /><br />If you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, you won’t be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either. <br /><br />How do you expect to change something if you won’t do anything about it? Stop fooling yourself.<br /><br />Stop rejecting new relationships because old ones didn’t work.<br /> <br />Sometimes the battle is two against one: you versus the other person and yourself. <br /><br />Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others. Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it anyway.<br /><br />Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things. The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.<br /><br />If you refuse to let others know you are in pain, and put on a mask, then why would you feel resentment for others not caring when you’re simply succeeding? <br /><br />If two things make people, oddly, miserable, those being having too many options to choose from, and not having to struggle to succeed in life, then cherish your trials and limitations, and find strength in your weaknesses and joy in the faults of others. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Q1CG3l63Vv4/TvPoMlWOHRI/AAAAAAAAA2E/geINzc_RYq4/s1600/Great-Inspirational-Quotes-Part-2_1.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 320px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Q1CG3l63Vv4/TvPoMlWOHRI/AAAAAAAAA2E/geINzc_RYq4/s320/Great-Inspirational-Quotes-Part-2_1.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5689146057180454162" /></a><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-vLznaeYatYk/TvPoXQULhDI/AAAAAAAAA2Q/kcZDz4O-y6g/s1600/greentick_gwg.png"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 160px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-vLznaeYatYk/TvPoXQULhDI/AAAAAAAAA2Q/kcZDz4O-y6g/s320/greentick_gwg.png" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5689146240513311794" /></a>j-doghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12418860641735535641noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2692345008570298281.post-28516012046346072402011-12-09T23:50:00.007-07:002011-12-10T00:38:56.907-07:00How the Church Will Collapse<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-o_O7r7gAi0o/TuMIEeVVGtI/AAAAAAAAA0A/dlXASfyPDs0/s1600/4daf0ff2ea75d.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 238px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-o_O7r7gAi0o/TuMIEeVVGtI/AAAAAAAAA0A/dlXASfyPDs0/s320/4daf0ff2ea75d.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5684396027626724050" /></a><br />Seriously. This is legit. It's just a theory, with a small 't', but this is COMPLETELY PLAUSIBLE. Completely!There's plenty of ways that the Church could end, cease to exist, collapse, lose its members, but this could be how it could play out.<br /><br />So, we all know that Monson is getting quite mature in years. And that Packer is second in line to receive that great great mantle. And he could totally get it! Completely plausible! Just, some things would need to happen. In fact, really, the church could collapse this next year. Really! It could! It all comes down to timing!<br /><br />So, let's say the rumors about Monson are true and that he's growing senile. Just completely senile, but unlike Ezra Taft Bensen, all the other apostles won't hide him away in some hospital or home and keep him out of the view of the public. No, instead he stays in the public eye and come April he's right up front for General Conference. And Monson gets up there and just totally fucks it all up. He starts going off about random stories, doesn't follow his prompter, he's telling crude jokes with innuendos from his early teens, just completely off the deep end! After this he is rushed off to live out the rest of his days under house arrest and then dies at the end of September.<br /><br />Just in time for Packer to become President cause Packer, this whole time, has been clinging to life, one hateful breath after the last. Just sitting in his chair telling himself, "I'm not gonna fuckin die! I have too much to say, I'm going to use all of this hate inside me to just cling to life and live unnaturally long due to all this pent-up hate and bigoted emotions I have!" And of course the revelations just start rolling forth. The bullshit is just spewing out from his mouth. Cause no one, NO ONE, has had the balls in the last 120 years to ever speak the words "the Lord has told me...!" but Packer would. And he would! We'd have new revelations, he'd be up there sayin, "God told me that this Church...." and it would just be in time for the October General Conference. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-a0kZeVxF-UM/TuMH39hoU-I/AAAAAAAAAzo/pzUJDVQzz2g/s1600/4da4a1e0da818.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-a0kZeVxF-UM/TuMH39hoU-I/AAAAAAAAAzo/pzUJDVQzz2g/s320/4da4a1e0da818.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5684395812661515234" /></a><br />And he would speak at every session. Every session! Saturday morning he would remind us of his revelations, the afternoon he would talk about blacks and fence-sitters. During priesthood he would start off talking about masturbation and little factories which would quickly shift to how masturbation leads to being gay and start bashing gays. And every talk would be at LEAST 30 minutes, at least. During the women's meeting he would talk about women's rightful place in the Church, and then remind us again on Sunday and bash feminists before taking the entire Sunday afternoon session to bash the gays as if he really needed to make up for his namesake and truly try to prove that he's not a 'homophobe' who's simply projecting. And that would be Gen Conf of OCT 2012.<br /><br />Then he'd die a week later. Completely plausible! All these things could happen, it's just a matter of timing. <br /><br />And that would be it! It would be done! Members would be like, "wow, Gen Conf has been weird this year, it's just not the same, the church isn't true, these men aren't prophets, boy April was weird with Monson but now Packer going all bat-shit crazy in October and then dieing after being president for 2 weeks?" That would be it, the church would get 2 million resignation letters before the end of the month and poor Perry would die from heartbreak, the prophets dropping like flies.<br /><br />Then the schisms would occur. We'd have the Bednarites going to Idaho. Uchtdorf would take half the women and all the gays and form his own sect, admitting to having had a brief same-gender relation with Packer. Nelson would control the main part of the church, now being the corporation president while the Presiding Bishop took the second corporation of the church and dubbed it The Corporation of the Presiding Bishopric of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. They'd start warring with each other and some breakoff would fly a plane into the conference center which would contain all the current 20,000 membership of the original Church, killing thousands and wiping out all the hierarchy down to the president of the 3rd Quorum of the 70, who would be some black guy from Africa who would become the president of the church in a dry sense of irony. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-keOM04-ZDkA/TuMH-zTYgNI/AAAAAAAAAz0/NzgEZHeCbr8/s1600/4da49f82c24c9.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 236px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-keOM04-ZDkA/TuMH-zTYgNI/AAAAAAAAAz0/NzgEZHeCbr8/s320/4da49f82c24c9.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5684395930176487634" /></a><br />Completely plausible, totally could happen. Maybe not all of it, maybe I take some liberties, but if this happened I think I'd believe in a god. At least some kind of god, like Vishnu or Poseidon or John Frum, cause only a god could orchestrate the collapse of the church to occur in 2012 in such a spectacular way. I mean, to keep all the right men alive at the right time and to make sure they died at the precise moment, that would be a work of art! Only a god could do that.<br /><br />Anyways, I'm sure this won't be how the Church collapses, but if I'm right, remember I'm the one who said it!<br /><br />;Pj-doghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12418860641735535641noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2692345008570298281.post-45076607324972717642011-11-26T21:55:00.026-07:002011-11-26T22:47:23.195-07:00Life in a Day<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-XYcPZSJypDE/TtHO5en2xJI/AAAAAAAAAzc/Kgy-jQDYo-U/s1600/lifeinadayposter%2B-%2BCopy.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 215px; height: 320px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-XYcPZSJypDE/TtHO5en2xJI/AAAAAAAAAzc/Kgy-jQDYo-U/s320/lifeinadayposter%2B-%2BCopy.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5679548091959002258" /></a><br />I watched <span style="font-weight:bold;">Life in a Day</span> recently and have not been able to stop thinking about it. If you haven’t heard about it then let me take a moment to explain. But also realize, if you wish to watch this film, then some things I say may rob you of moments you could have if you went into it without knowing what to expect exactly. Lastly, this has nothing to do directly with atheism or BYU. This is about the human race. It is a movie to be experience. <br /><br />An invitation was made for people around the world to post Youtube videos depicting their lives on one specific day on earth. On July 24th 2010 thousands of people filmed their lives, either the whole day, simple moments, or awaited the extraordinaire. All together there were 80,000 videos totaling over 4,500 hours of footage. Nearly 200 countries were represented. Ridley Scott produced the film while Kevin Macdonald directed. National Geographic had its hand in the film. The Youtube community, obviously, played a major role in the film as well. Many people did make it to the final cut, though not all. Most people were grateful they got to be a part of it, many felt it was worth just that. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-KI13fTgk8iw/TtHD_-T7MLI/AAAAAAAAAwE/CtlfOl_HqPQ/s1600/life-ridley_scott_cam.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 212px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-KI13fTgk8iw/TtHD_-T7MLI/AAAAAAAAAwE/CtlfOl_HqPQ/s320/life-ridley_scott_cam.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5679536108916650162" /></a><br />The film/documentary has mixed reviews, though it leans towards the positive. For the life of me I don’t know what people would expect, going into it, and why they would be upset or say it was a waste of time. I guess if there’s no overall plot, no explosions or love scenes, and no overall moral or theme except to depict life and let the viewer take from the experience what they may, then some people will just be hopeless pessimistic cases. <br /><br />Here is the trailer to the film if you so wish to view. The song at the beginning is Future Prospect, by Biggi Hilmars. The second song is, I believe, Jerusalem, by Keiran. I recommend listening to some inspiring music to get a feel for what I listen to as I write this.<br /><iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/bT_UmBHMYzg" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe> <br /><br />Here's the first song, looped for 12 minutes, it will drive you crazy if you don't like it:<br /><iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/wvDDAd6dpqY" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br /><br />And now for my experience.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Y7AzRa3i6bY/TtHEUxp7W6I/AAAAAAAAAwQ/c6Ma3i7lN_M/s1600/life-screen-shot-2011-01-28-at-02-48-21.png"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 200px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Y7AzRa3i6bY/TtHEUxp7W6I/AAAAAAAAAwQ/c6Ma3i7lN_M/s320/life-screen-shot-2011-01-28-at-02-48-21.png" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5679536466296527778" /></a><br />If you don't wish to have a corrupted view of the film stop reading now. <br />I watched the film from beginning to end in one sitting. I ordered it on blu-ray and watched it as soon as it arrived. I made dinner and was finished by the time the previews ended. So I sat back, with some Sprite and let the film start. <br /><br />Right away the film put across exactly what it proposed itself to be: a collection of videos, persons, countries, perspectives, and right away began to lay out themes, starting with those people who woke up at the ungodly hours of 3 or 4 in the morning. You knew you were about to watch a day in the life of humanity. From a lady locking her door with dogs barking, to a family in a boat on the Nile, to a lady saying spirits spoke to her between 3:00-4:00, I was going to get the big picture. I was going to watch the human race for one day.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-EdQLovvBi-U/TtHGW3irrCI/AAAAAAAAAxA/xpgjnuWgIQE/s1600/LIAD%2B0014.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 180px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-EdQLovvBi-U/TtHGW3irrCI/AAAAAAAAAxA/xpgjnuWgIQE/s320/LIAD%2B0014.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5679538701259746338" /></a><br />Of course some scenes are not as fun as others, though I’ll revisit this thought later. Some parts in the film were slow overall, and at 30 minutes I was like, “hmm, another hour?” But there was one scene which grasped me and motivated me to stay early on. <br /><br />At one point we wake up with a father and son in Japan, Hiroaki and Taiji. Hiroaki wakes up, seemingly sleeping on a futon in his living room, or only room, and the place is a mess, stuff everywhere. Then I noticed he had a little boy, who he tells to go use the restroom or else he won’t be able to watch TV. Taiji goes to the restroom, navigating through all the items and junk everywhere. The whole time I’m thinking, “wow, this kid is going to grow up and never learn how to pick up.” I thought, “how could he show this without feeling a little embarrassed by the mess?” <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-vVtJfeXl8ZU/TtHEgbtMtiI/AAAAAAAAAwc/Ntw8AC0GFgw/s1600/LIAD%2B0005%2Bcopy.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 177px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-vVtJfeXl8ZU/TtHEgbtMtiI/AAAAAAAAAwc/Ntw8AC0GFgw/s320/LIAD%2B0005%2Bcopy.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5679536666563098146" /></a><br />Then after a moment the family make their way to the back room, maybe what would be the bedroom on the floor-plan. Bookshelves, a desk, and what I termed as a shrine with a picture of a young woman: the widowers deceased wife, the son’s dead mother. <br /><br />Suddenly I felt ashamed with myself for complaining, to a video, about this father and his pigsty of an apartment. As they go through a ritual of respect, remembrance, mourning (?), my thoughts went elsewhere as I felt the human condition enter me. I use the term more freely than I should, but whenever I get the urge to partake in something, anything, that another person is experiencing I call it, to myself, the human condition. It’s just the way things are, whether happy or melancholy, and I want to be a part of it. <br /><br />The broken family lighted a candle and incense, the son, Taiji, picked up a rod to ring a singing bowl, which my ex had one and which I will buy some day. I awaited the noise that would fill the speakers, knowing how it would sound. Blessed as luck would have it Taiji struck the bowl at the wrong time and had to do it twice. A thought of thanks rang in my mind.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-0KlDyOvgxaA/TtHFEKXS5KI/AAAAAAAAAwo/ec5-L7YP36w/s1600/LIAD%2B0015.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 180px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-0KlDyOvgxaA/TtHFEKXS5KI/AAAAAAAAAwo/ec5-L7YP36w/s320/LIAD%2B0015.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5679537280383116450" /></a><br />Nick expresses his concerns about Global Warming and the changes he has personally seen.<br /><br />Though, as I admitted, I found some parts boring after this, I was caught and I wasn’t going to go do anything else for the remainder of the film. Besides the beautiful images and personal moments I would share, the music was also grand. The range was wide and fitting, with recurring themes and songs, and some epic pieces here and there. One interesting part was a scene with some Angolan women working in the hot African sun while singing. I thought on how I wouldn’t sing while I worked, as they did, but I wondered how I would carry a conversation while working and decided I would probably sing. As the song carried forth the film went into a montage of other videos, their song carrying me along the way. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-wDi_cYRnrD4/TtHFv8t91_I/AAAAAAAAAw0/4iL0XJf3NtA/s1600/LIAD%2B0009.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 180px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-wDi_cYRnrD4/TtHFv8t91_I/AAAAAAAAAw0/4iL0XJf3NtA/s320/LIAD%2B0009.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5679538032634353650" /></a><br />Ayomatty, who we watch as he works in the gardens at large mansions in Dubai, so he can send money home to his children so they can survive ....<br /><br />Life in a Day has many montage scenes. The Angolan scene was the most memorable, but later in the film the piece takes a darker turn as we begin to see more violent images, looking at the inhumanity and carelessness of humanity. From a man keeping two other men from fighting, to a tragedy at a festival in Germany I had no knowledge of that took place on July 24th 2010. On this day there was a festival called the Love Parade, I’m guessing a kind of outdoor, concert, party type thing with loud music. In the film we watch from many different cameras and people as they go to the music festival, a lot of them coalescing at a long tunnel, with the background music building and building, and one group of people saying they’re stuck in the tunnel. <br /><br />It ends up that someone some kind of stampede happened at this tunnel and 21 people were killed. We watch as people try to climb up out of the crowd, as men and women check people on the ground, some of which were trampled, and as some people continue partying and dancing, having no idea what had happened. From here the movie shows more violent images put against images of the seemingly ever wealthy and effluent western society. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-vJjt7dF-n_4/TtHGtBT_YKI/AAAAAAAAAxM/nAhfJyIV4i8/s1600/life%2B-Hospital-ron-life-in-a-day.png"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 172px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-vJjt7dF-n_4/TtHGtBT_YKI/AAAAAAAAAxM/nAhfJyIV4i8/s320/life%2B-Hospital-ron-life-in-a-day.png" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5679539081839599778" /></a><br />Ron in the hospital.<br /><br />The film has no overall themes, and tries to show many different ideas and perspectives. The film does have some overarching questions, like what people have in their pockets. We watch as a man pulls out a set of keys, gets in his Lamborghini, and smiles uncontrollably, while a moment later we see workers in some foreign country who have nothing in their pockets whatsoever. <br /><br />Or what people are afraid of, which most of humanity is afraid of death. Kids are afraid of monsters, people are afraid of ghosts, and a man seemingly in a hospital bed is afraid to die. These question themes make up most of the film, with a young couple in the woods holding up written signs that ask the questions, segueing into the next portion. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ZfHx1eSuR6s/TtHG8hYg05I/AAAAAAAAAxY/wI7ROO4fTfo/s1600/lifeinaday-89.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 175px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ZfHx1eSuR6s/TtHG8hYg05I/AAAAAAAAAxY/wI7ROO4fTfo/s320/lifeinaday-89.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5679539348146541458" /></a><br />The film has some faults, they definitely don’t represent perfectly, and push some agendas. There is a scene where we watch a cow get killed, and the first try is unsuccessful. I felt the scene is fine, but for a moment I was disengaged and felt that I had been agendadized. Also, time is spent on seeing people testify of Christ, or Gusti Kompiang Sari in Indonesia performing blessings and prayer to her Hindu Gods, but there is a lack of representation for openly atheistic viewpoints. Secular points, yes, but no one in the film says anything about not believing in god. We get a girl who says all non-Christians are going to hell and her message is to try to save them, but no atheists. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-iHd6kF3xQtQ/TtHHHoCoQzI/AAAAAAAAAxk/TF0STZLrS1E/s1600/LIAD%2B0007.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 180px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-iHd6kF3xQtQ/TtHHHoCoQzI/AAAAAAAAAxk/TF0STZLrS1E/s320/LIAD%2B0007.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5679539538912363314" /></a><br />In the film there are a few very interesting characters we meet. Interesting because they either are unique, or foreign. From Teagan hoolahooping and solving a rubrics cube, and Ardilavov free-running and stealing, to Virginia climbing a human tower and David coming out to his grandmother, we meet a lot of people and get a glimpse into their world, sharing a moment. <br /><br />Then there are recurring people. Some people got some extra time on screen, such as a family struggling with cancer. The Liginski family gets several spots, from when the father, Bob, and son, Bobby, go to wake up their recovering mother, Cathy, to them having some family moments during the day, real down-to-earth stuff. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-DNzm4KV-6GU/TtHHjHIW9rI/AAAAAAAAAx8/fu04H31qcME/s1600/life-in-a-day.png"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 180px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-DNzm4KV-6GU/TtHHjHIW9rI/AAAAAAAAAx8/fu04H31qcME/s320/life-in-a-day.png" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5679540011114362546" /></a><br />Ann and John Walkley renew their marriage vows, which they wrote the renewals, and which is funny. A young boy from Peru (I have not as yet found his name) who we watch leave his home with some wood contraption, being asked questions by the camera-holder. Soon we find out the little kid is going to work, shining shoes, the wood contraption a step for clients to set their feet on. Later we visit him again, in the love portion of the film, as he says he loves his dad most because he cooks all the food all the time. Giving him a moment he explains that it’s not because of the food, but because his dad does it; he knows his dad does it because his dad loves him, and looks out for his son more than himself. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-gTHk3iflegQ/TtHJFtplFcI/AAAAAAAAAzQ/ML9zWfdxVx4/s1600/Teagan_07242010.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-gTHk3iflegQ/TtHJFtplFcI/AAAAAAAAAzQ/ML9zWfdxVx4/s320/Teagan_07242010.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5679541705081427394" /></a><br />Okhwan Yoon, a Korean who, on July 24th, had been cycling around the world for over 9 years and over 190 countries also shows up multiple times. In the film he is currently in Nepal and we watch him wander around (how he affords this I have no idea). He stops for a moment as we watch a fly stuck in some soup (?) and starts explaining flies he has seen, and how this one looks about the right size for flies in Korea, which reminds him of home, and makes him emotional. It’s the little things that come out a lot in this film. Everyday occurrences. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-sDhPah2b8vE/TtHHrR7T4nI/AAAAAAAAAyI/4kp65qg1Hgw/s1600/life-in-a-day-youtube-20110422140858.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 183px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-sDhPah2b8vE/TtHHrR7T4nI/AAAAAAAAAyI/4kp65qg1Hgw/s320/life-in-a-day-youtube-20110422140858.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5679540151451378290" /></a><br />By the time I was halfway through I was enveloped in the people’s lives. As David came out to his grandmother I braced myself for a horrible experience, only to have him keep repeating, in mild laughter, that he knows she loves him, will see him soon, and that his parents know. As Virginia came onto screen, having a good minute scene, wondering why she was getting a helmet, and why she climbed out of her home down a two-story pole. <br /><br />Seeing a wife of a solider in the Middle East while going back and forth with a reporter/photographer in Afganistan who wished to show the western world that there is hope in his country and they are normal people, as he showed young girls, some with their hair uncovered, exercising and training. Watching some goat farmers, from Ukraine, as they went about their day, jokes and humor abounding. Watching as a camera person went into a large cemetery in Egypt to find a family living in a shack, a father, on his own, watching out for his underage children, saying that at least they are alive, his god hasn’t forgotten him. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-CB04ulqKmZY/TtHHRW3gsQI/AAAAAAAAAxw/h10y0ZZrSsg/s1600/LIAD%2B0027.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 180px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-CB04ulqKmZY/TtHHRW3gsQI/AAAAAAAAAxw/h10y0ZZrSsg/s320/LIAD%2B0027.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5679539706101018882" /></a><br />By the end I wanted to see more of these people and I watched with anxiety as the clock neared 90 minutes (the length of the film). I tried to piece together the main moral of the film, but couldn’t. I was experiencing life, the human condition, and I felt I was being a part of it. I felt, as one critic said, that I was a part of, "a rousing success of an experiment: quite possibly the first large-scale, global use of the Internet to create meaningful and beautiful art," and that I had now contributed, even though I wish I could have truly contributed back on July 24th 2010. I was climbing that tower with Virginia, I was in the hospital with Ron as he choked up, thanking the staff for taking care of him, I was with Bob as he looked at his wife’s scars, and I was with Okhwan as he set out, trying to inspire and feel inspired to make a difference in the world, to unite Korea, to make the world a better place.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-IBBfqBJEMbs/TtHH8d5crNI/AAAAAAAAAyU/TVqZYa78shM/s1600/LIAD%2B0002.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 180px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-IBBfqBJEMbs/TtHH8d5crNI/AAAAAAAAAyU/TVqZYa78shM/s320/LIAD%2B0002.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5679540446722567378" /></a><br />The violet purge and images, mixed with the Love Parade, culminate into a scene with Okhwan as he gets his hair cut, saying he is now a new man. He mentions that when his eyes are closed he can see all the different people of the world, and for him, I believe he truly can. He says his adventure must continue and he begins to walk away with his bicycle, the person who video-taped him, watching him leave. We revisit the Liginski family as Cathy asks Bob what he is afraid of. Possibly holding back some emotion he says he was afraid of her getting cancer, which she got, and then getting it again, which she did. But now that it’s all gone he has no fear. I literally rooted for him at this moment. As with most of the film, they tie scenes with voices continuing to speak though new images are in front of us, or with music. As Bob looks at the camera an orchestral piece begins to play (Fireworks and Lanterns) and we are shown fireworks and other images. Soon we arrive at a festival of lights, where a crowd releases floating lanterns into the sky (think Tangled). As hundreds of fiery lanterns float upward we watch a couple embrace. By this point I was getting choked up.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-JUNxjaYsHfk/TtHILpzdV2I/AAAAAAAAAyg/r234JvdxUrQ/s1600/liad11111.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 221px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-JUNxjaYsHfk/TtHILpzdV2I/AAAAAAAAAyg/r234JvdxUrQ/s320/liad11111.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5679540707616708450" /></a><br />Returning to the family we saw in the boat on the Nile we watch as they prepare to sleep in their little boat, the moment I realized the little boat was their home. The camera-man takes a moment to focus on a young brother and sister as they pull a blanket over themselves. Storms begin to break out in the night sky for others on that day, and we end with a woman in a car (I don’t know who she is either) who, above the noise of rain, says she is disappointed that nothing special happened and that she had to work all that day, a Saturday. She wishes she could leave a mark on history, but she hopes that others had an eventful day.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-n9MwytpXPBU/TtHIUIX1uDI/AAAAAAAAAys/Pyg7wiOkdLQ/s1600/LIAD%2B0006.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 180px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-n9MwytpXPBU/TtHIUIX1uDI/AAAAAAAAAys/Pyg7wiOkdLQ/s320/LIAD%2B0006.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5679540853261318194" /></a><br />The brother and sister in the boat.<br /><br />The film ends with a snail going slowly over a small ball, or egg, that eventually resembles the earth. I sat there as the music played on and the as the snail slowly worked its way forward, pressing on. I wanted to watch it again, to experience it with someone else. I knew everyone around me had their own lives, their own thoughts, their own dreams and sufferings. I was suddenly acutely aware that I was one out of seven billion, but that each of us were unique, brothers and sisters, all partaking in the human predicament, all a part of the human condition. <br /><br />I was hoping that family in Egypt was still alive, that Ron had recovered fine from his stay in the hospital, that Bob and Cathy were still doing okay. I was jumping out of the plane and skydiving again. I was with Taiji and Hiroaki as they mourned for their lost wife and mother. I was with Ayomatty as he peered at the million-dollar homes and sent money home to his children. I was with Okhwan in wanting peace in the world. And I could now see all of those different people when I closed my eyes. I wanted to know their names, to be a part of their lives. That regardless of joy or sorrow, I wanted to be a part of it, to share it. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/--XAS6ADH6K8/TtHIhVYlyFI/AAAAAAAAAy4/2xEUmS2kyio/s1600/life-okhwan%2Byoon.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 189px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/--XAS6ADH6K8/TtHIhVYlyFI/AAAAAAAAAy4/2xEUmS2kyio/s320/life-okhwan%2Byoon.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5679541080092428370" /></a><br />Perhaps because I feel life is worth something more than myself when I see films like this, and perhaps because I too wish to make a mark in history, I felt completely inspired by this film, through and through. It was deeply moving. It was inspirational. <br /><br />And I know some people won’t see it the same way. Some will find it boring, or that it’s cheesy, or that it’s nothing special. To that I can honestly say I do not understand. I do not understand how someone could watch this film and not feel the way I do. I admit that if someone took it lightly I would find them inexperienced, shallow, or at least missing the point in life. If something like this film cannot inspire you or cause you to have a greater love and appreciation for your fellow human beings then what hope is there? For all of us. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-XnEmhJH7hfo/TtHIsBggKvI/AAAAAAAAAzE/0Z8i7bAaVTc/s1600/life_in_a_day.png"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 175px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-XnEmhJH7hfo/TtHIsBggKvI/AAAAAAAAAzE/0Z8i7bAaVTc/s320/life_in_a_day.png" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5679541263735466738" /></a><br />Notes:<br />I have tried to find as many of the people as I can and I stumbled across this site, though much later into my searching, unfortunately:<br />http://www.mongrelmedia.com/press_info/?id=2029 <br />Besides this Wikipeida and IMDB are also good for basic info. <br />I purposely avoided labeling some pics as I feel you should recognize who they are now, and if you don't then maybe you should watch the film and meet them.j-doghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12418860641735535641noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2692345008570298281.post-88337043181043671622011-11-25T23:08:00.005-07:002011-11-25T23:33:09.215-07:00Some Actual Problems With Mormonism<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-11GJi45T7x0/TtCHh6k7DkI/AAAAAAAAAvs/0btXF9AJgyE/s1600/Celestial_House_Negroes.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 256px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-11GJi45T7x0/TtCHh6k7DkI/AAAAAAAAAvs/0btXF9AJgyE/s320/Celestial_House_Negroes.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5679188146843749954" /></a><br />Here's some valid concerns about the present-day LDS church that I have:<br /><br />#1 - "How the church advises couples to divorce their wayward or apostate spouses." We have some people like this in the group. Leaving so much 'power' to bishops is one of the faults of the church and this is one realm (most of these are, actually) where bishops can cause problems. Some bishops will advise a tender-TBM wife to dump her husband if he falls away. And some men are advised this on their wives as well, but, lets face it, more men leave the church than women so more men are seeing their families ripped apart by their TBM wives. <br /><br />But where do bishops get this idea from? Well, that good old gospel of guilt the LDS church teaches, of course. If being married in the temple, being questioned on if you support apostates, and being told the greatest glory is to be eternally married, then all you need is the idea, and one person to say it, that if your spouse falls away you better find a more righteous future spouse ASAP or else you may go to hell!!! A few teachings here and there with some ambiguous doctrines and scriptures and you have a field ripe and ready to be split down the middle ... the family that is.<br /><br />#2 - "Those gays sure are causing a ruckus," and for Mormons they definitely are. For the life of me I do not understand why our country is even debating the topic of gay marriage. Why is it even up to debate on whether or not 2 consenting adults and get married and have the rights of marriage? Why are we fucking dillydallying on this? But more on this in a moment....<br /><br />#3 - "Sure am glad none of ma kids are apostates or gay." And oh the joys if they are. Utah, besides leading for porn use with Mississippi, is also a leading state for gay teen suicides and homeless youth. Circumstantial evidence at best, but at one the LGBT panels at the Provo library one lady stood up and stated she worked at the homeless youth center in SLC and 72% of the kids were from LDS homes and a lot of them were gay. Also anecdotal evidence, but I mentioned in the past that there was an apostate daughter who was temporarily disowned and gay son who lived with the threat of being disowned for some time. Family sure is important to these people. You can be a fucking neo Nazi but if you own a coffee maker or stop believing then you are fucked. <br /><br />#4 - "Well, I'm more happy than anyone else." And maybe this slight rant doesn't help but Mormons sure have balls to say that they are happier than you or that you will never be able to have the same level of happiness they have. This teaching makes people so fucking miserable. Some people literally believe it too, they leave and are getting miserable, calling back on being told that they would be. Now, if they were simply just sad or mad then I'd be like, eh, maybe religion is good for them. But if they are sad and then say, "you know, they said i would be sad and though i KNOW i am not committing a self-fulfilling prophecy, i think they are right," (if they say that) then that apostate is just stupid. <br /><br />So many people are happy when they leave behind a cultish gospel of guilt like Mormonism. Some people may be better off staying in it, but if you think you're one of those then stop and think on what that actually means. One person recently said that it is tough for her because they can't tell people, or don't wish to tell family, etc ... but think that maybe they could go back to church and be happy. So you want to go back a lie, live a lie, and be the lie, cause it makes you happy? And what is making you sad is being true to yourself, admitting to yourself you don't believe the lie, but then are continuing to lie about who you are to other people? Which is what you would be doing if you went back? Makes no sense. <br /><br />#5 - read the full study report on the SEX AND SECULARISM study. Helped to confirm some opinions I held with facts. To summarize, Mormonism is self-rated to be the worst of the major religions (16 in the study) for how members view sex and how much guilt and shame is associated with it. Again, this says something of what we already know.<br /><br />#6 - a minor note on the funds of the church. temples are tithing producers. the Great Britain monetary accounts being made public in some years to show that 84% of humanitarian aid goes into investments. or, as i recently found out, that the massive amounts of tons of items the church ships out is actually much smaller then we may think.<br /><br />Just some minor points I wished to throw out there. Overall Mormonism has a lot of good ideas and they get good things done, but some things are just so bad, so horrible as to be atrocious. I mean, right here we see a general process of worsening the world. Any child who is gay or bi has a lot of risk, any child who leaves has a LOT of risk, and is getting close to 1 out of 4 in the church. Any spouse who leaves risks losing the rights to see their own children. Aid and money is far less than what the membership is led to believe. People who leave will be left with working out how to live better sex lives and may have some remnant views on whether or not they can be happy. Yup, but it's a good religion.j-doghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12418860641735535641noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2692345008570298281.post-23164231707898281052011-11-11T18:51:00.004-07:002011-11-11T19:00:11.362-07:00Veterans DayThank you to all those in the armed forces and to all veterans. To those who put their lives on the line for an idea or a dream. For those who gave their lives for their loved ones, and for me. For those whose aspirations drive them to fight for the rights of others and to be involved in the condition of humanity.<br /><br />Thank you to those veterans and soldiers who represent this country, who represent our culture and freedoms. To those who represent their race, their community, their family, to those who represent their religion or non-religion, to those who represent the majority, and to those who represent the smallest of minorities that our country promises to protect. Thank you for doing what many of us can't, won't, or only would when our freedoms were being threatened on the threshold of our homes. Thank you all.<br /><br />Though many may disagree on war, and veterans, and all that, I find it despicable of anyone to refuse to give a just nod or mental high-five to any courageous person who would take a bullet for them if it came to it. I enjoy that atheism in the military has had a recent revival of sorts in the last couple years, helping to get rid of that annoying foxhole comment.<br /><br />Random funny picture because i must. <br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-eV4BWcx0_Dk/Tr3TF69LCcI/AAAAAAAAAvg/jqknueFe-yM/s1600/pope_benedict_xvi.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 256px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-eV4BWcx0_Dk/Tr3TF69LCcI/AAAAAAAAAvg/jqknueFe-yM/s320/pope_benedict_xvi.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5673923204235332034" /></a>j-doghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12418860641735535641noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2692345008570298281.post-56741529938619252652011-11-10T20:42:00.004-07:002011-11-10T21:00:04.589-07:00Reflections<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-DmlpBpipvBw/TrydpJwp4UI/AAAAAAAAAvU/Xpq8cpDNyFY/s1600/Beheading.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 256px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-DmlpBpipvBw/TrydpJwp4UI/AAAAAAAAAvU/Xpq8cpDNyFY/s320/Beheading.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5673582960900170050" /></a><br /><br />When I started this blog it was with the intent to write out my thoughts, get others' opinions, and write about BYU in general. Now I am no longer going to BYU, and for the most part my views on the world have finished going through massive flux and are now settling in a slow-moving river. In other words, my original purposes for the blog are now gone.<br /><br />Not that I can't still write about some things dealing with BYU, and I definitely can still post my thoughts on things and always like feedback, but it's so much less than it was a year ago.<br /><br />And when I look at it that way it has been a pretty crazy year. Or course I have basically only one thing on my mind and taking up my energy (exgfdepressedheartbrokenwhattodoimallaloneandsad) but there's a lot to reflect on within the last year. One being the general history of the groups I'm in, though right now I'm not in much of a mood to write it out. But it is something to watch a new group get formed, with a dozen people meeting at Starbucks to reaching nearly 200 on Facebook (even with the small exodus that occurred when the group made the papers). <br /><br />To be honest I haven't been involved much lately. I am busy, preparing to start the long road to finishing college, working a full-time job, etc .... My current emotional status also leaves me wanting to go home and not talk to people, which means if I have any attachments or duties outside of work then I have completely let those people down, including UCOR. But I guess that's to be expected. I was left feeling a little resentment when I discovered some co-workers didn't realize I was heartbroken; I guess they just thought I was a really depressed atheist, lol. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-budNo1v5YZs/TryddQG1WqI/AAAAAAAAAvI/U6EZDfK7mEo/s1600/199333_190128801026513_182595281779865_430082_6064798_n.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 319px; height: 320px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-budNo1v5YZs/TryddQG1WqI/AAAAAAAAAvI/U6EZDfK7mEo/s320/199333_190128801026513_182595281779865_430082_6064798_n.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5673582756445379234" /></a><br />Also, to be honest, I've lost my drive to collect funny atheist pictures, but I still have a ton I haven't shared so I'll be scraping from the barrel for a while yet. <br /><br />It has been exciting becoming involved in atheistic culture, watching the changes, seeing people go from one extreme to another. Some people in the group went back to believing in some kind of God, while others feel they are getting out of their "crazy" phase. To be honest I never entered a crazy phase to leave in the first place. I've honestly still been very much myself. I do miss the LDS culture in some ways that my current friends and even current LDS friends don't quite satisfy. But I also realize I never quite fit in to begin with. Music, group games, board games, odd/cheap dates, I guess those things matched though. I like the party scene, I need to go out clubbing more with people, and I don't know many Mormons who would go skinny dipping, but I feel a desire to go to both.<br /><br />Besides all of this my work makes an interesting place for conversation, especially more recently, but I feel hesitant sharing that information on a blog. I have been more argumentative lately, which often gets trite responses. Some people state their beliefs, usually by saying how something else is wrong or bad, and I simply ask them why and usually they don't actually back it up with any real reasons. I find myself not really caring to even pursue debate over topics that don't reveal any thought beyond reciting what evidence they suspect will support their already formulated opinions. But, hey, maybe I'll post more often now as I piece myself back together.j-doghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12418860641735535641noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2692345008570298281.post-43218736369366161572011-11-06T21:31:00.026-07:002011-11-07T01:00:25.351-07:00Life: a long love lost story<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-bHnFutlRlN0/TrdxbWLYidI/AAAAAAAAAtE/TsA2kt5II94/s1600/4da4a1616967c.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 222px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-bHnFutlRlN0/TrdxbWLYidI/AAAAAAAAAtE/TsA2kt5II94/s320/4da4a1616967c.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5672126970320161234" /></a><br />Disclaimer: This ended up not being the post I meant it to be, but was therapeutic and enjoyable to write so I'll post it anyway. WARNING: it's about my pitiful stance as a boyfriend and past relationships so don't read on if you're not interested. I'll at least post funny pics along the way. <br /><br />Listening to Radiohead(cue Nude or All I Need[please feel free to read while listening to what I am. oh, and use youtube you lazy bum]). Music always manages to calm me down. First off I'm not dead or anything. I did stop attending BYU last year, but I guess, since I'm (or use to be as I can't motivate myself to do anything) involved with Post-Mo and atheist stuff out here I decided to keep up with the blog. Course, fewer things to talk about since I don't wish to talk about work/Mormon/atheist experiences too much, or to talk much about college outside of BYU. This and the fact that people still contact me ... I guess I'm in it for the long run.<br /><br />So what to say, been pretty down lately. It's amazing actually, most of my greatest experiences, worst and best, all have happened in Fall. Or, rather, the season of Autumn. My first love started and stopped in Autumn. My mission started in Autumn. Most schools start in Autumn but that's to be expected. My birthday is in Autumn too. My first skydive, my first time driving alone (again, birthday), my second love and consequent breakup three years later, my first drink (which was not related to my bday since I never did that till 23), my first skinny-dipping, my third love and, again (you know it's coming dear reader) consequent breakup. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Zb0O0UiNHAw/TrdxlehN2pI/AAAAAAAAAtQ/zbq98k0AjIc/s1600/_AUTOIMAGES_DRM9lg.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 320px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Zb0O0UiNHAw/TrdxlehN2pI/AAAAAAAAAtQ/zbq98k0AjIc/s320/_AUTOIMAGES_DRM9lg.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5672127144357911186" /></a><br />Now I am left to reevaluate my thoughts and values. I've done this with other things, my views on abortion actually haven't changed much since I left the church, but my views on swearing have dramatically (though my views on what's cordial and polite haven't). I'd like to think I have a good grasp on the world and maybe it's better in the sense of what's actually right or true, but I'm pretty sure I'm more lost than before. I have a habit of not finding out my views or beliefs should change until I come in contact with that perpetual and infinite opposite that makes me desist, retract, and evaluate what my mind and heart tell me now versus what I blindly believed before.<br /><br />As with love I feel like something should've changed, but hasn't. I loved once in high school, a girl who was already in love, and living with said boyfriend. But I was young, enduring, pretty naive, and her and I hit it off. I have to pat myself on the back for being a sociable and confident person back then. The initial contact lasted four hours, and one revolutionary conversation later I had the biggest "crush" I had ever had and planted those tender little seeds into her mind which gave her a level of interest that would never make her cheat, but made her realize we could've been. A kiss never happened, a couple other things did, a lot of great experiences, but the whole time I knew what were doing would not lead to what I wanted it to be. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-XnXdp0VPWdY/Trdx8GoSL-I/AAAAAAAAAtc/8AGMMC8imzA/s1600/2d1ea57d2e26bc83a4dbc13f10e8921136.png"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 224px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-XnXdp0VPWdY/Trdx8GoSL-I/AAAAAAAAAtc/8AGMMC8imzA/s320/2d1ea57d2e26bc83a4dbc13f10e8921136.png" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5672127533082095586" /></a><br />So, with that one timing certainly played its part, and of course being young, foolish, and not truly available, though in my mind it was a relationship I wished I could've seen go all the way. Thankfully she and her now husband were good sports, had a lot of patience with me, and we're still in contact.<br /><br />I apologize for suddenly bringing up the age-old sad love story, but I'd rather put it here than in my journal and then feel like I'm being a complete hermit when some people, and hopefully readers, are wondering what's going on. But returning, needless to say that pseudo-relationship had me emotionally upset and drained in a few horrible ways a few times over a year, but I eventually got over it. <br /><br />(cue Iris by Goo Goo Dolls, it has sentimental value for me)<br /><br /><iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/NdYWuo9OFAw" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br /><br />Then my deepest relationship started a year later. October 3rd, 9:15 in the evening; I can name the place and which cushions we were sitting on and roughly what was said to make sure we knew it was an official relationship. Followed by an awkwardly started but tender and passionate hug. Sealed with some tears. Two months of flirting had now culminated into a relationship that I have no idea if it ever should have started.<br /><br />See, I am a hopeless romantic at heart, my fictional writing is usually inspired by good movies and music, while my poems and journals are generally inspired by love. My music is a bit of both. But I've noticed how NOT like myself I am now. I've really lost that aspect of myself. Whether it has been destroyed and must be regained or simply has burrowed deep into me, afraid to come out after being bruised, cut, battered, and abused, which means I need to relearn and heal. Regardless, here I am, but I want to continue as to how I arrived.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-c5EgBryxmao/TrdyMFFHTiI/AAAAAAAAAto/-dDqAZsxDec/s1600/4jk.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 219px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-c5EgBryxmao/TrdyMFFHTiI/AAAAAAAAAto/-dDqAZsxDec/s320/4jk.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5672127807544053282" /></a><br />Me and girl #2 dated for a long time. I went to college for part of that, and returned, then went on my mission. The year at college was hard, I was cheated on once during that time, and we even broke up for 12 hours. To be honest the girl had brought up a couple times after that year that she might want to date other people at some point. She was in high school, and I, like I always do, said that while I was on my mission we could count it as an open relationship. That way she could date guys, a little, but still love me. Course, now while looking back, I realize that this was a fatal mistake on my part. And if not a mistake, then a misunderstanding on what something like this would do. It also helps me realize what is important in relationships to me, namely, what is most important, but I'll get to that later.<br /><br />She broke up with me in a Dear John letter, though she wasn't LDS and wouldn't know what that was. Why she didn't come to my mission, rape me, and try to steal me away from the religion, I'll never know (joke) but she left me, and I can't blame her for that. Btw, this happened between August and October, of course. I won't know if she had a guy in her life by then, but a few months later she did. <br /><br />We did fight sometimes, she was a people pleaser, and because I loved her and would forgive her it also meant I was lower on the totem pole when she felt she had to choose between people, things to do, etc .... But there was a time for us, probably about months 3-9, where we thought we had found that person we would be together with, forever. We shared everything, all our darkest secrets, journal writings, our dreams and aspirations. We both did not have the best lives in high school and helped each other a lot, her most of all. Lost, confused, delirious and self-afflicting, it is hard to sometimes not think that her love for me was based on how much I helped her. Once she got better and more secure then I was no longer as important and enduring.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ZZ8XcaslV3o/TrdyZlQzTiI/AAAAAAAAAt0/vA3Bu7SVWB0/s1600/6a0120a721c2d7970b01347f98e6cf970c.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 276px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ZZ8XcaslV3o/TrdyZlQzTiI/AAAAAAAAAt0/vA3Bu7SVWB0/s320/6a0120a721c2d7970b01347f98e6cf970c.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5672128039521308194" /></a><br />Regardless the next year of my mission was torment as she would come back, disappear, say we should date when I get back, then say she had a boyfriend. As my mother would say, "she was jerking my chain" and like any puppy in love it left me feeling very confused and hurt. To end this sad tale when I arrived home we met and after one awkwardly started but tender and passionate hug our conversation reached the apex with her saying in not so many words that 'she did not want me in her life anymore and I was not to contact her.' <br /><br />That was pretty low. I wonder why sometimes, if it was cause what we had was so real and she wouldn't be able to remain faithful to her 'then' boyfriend; if I had really hurt her in some way that I just can't remember; if I never meant as much as I thought I should have and she really didn't want me there anymore. I probably will never know, and I'm sure her memory would suit her present beliefs rather than what she was thinking then.<br /><br />With that I was crushed, which I'm hoping isn't surprising. And then I was still home for a couple months before college. With barely any friends (my high school buddies are the college types) and one very broken heart I think I festered in that plagued pool of thought till my bones were saturated with a liquid bitterness while my mind was pierced with needles of self-worthlessness. To speak more straight: I was the lowest I've ever been.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-wMh19jHx1YY/Trdy1AwLX-I/AAAAAAAAAuA/QsAimBRiSoM/s1600/24.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 281px; height: 320px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-wMh19jHx1YY/Trdy1AwLX-I/AAAAAAAAAuA/QsAimBRiSoM/s320/24.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5672128510757134306" /></a><br />(note: i LOVE the meanwhile meme pictures, they make me lolz)<br />The rest of that story isn't anything new and I have little to add. When I was still having nightmares about her, and us, a year after I got to BYU, and two years after the breakup, or 16 months after she told me I meant nothing to her, I decided I had some major issues and got a therapist to help out. Sure enough I was very depressed and was reacting as if divorced. After a couple months I was released and had no nightmares till recently.<br /><br />Which, I have to add, I hope those of you who haven't had a relationship end so horribly one-sided will have no understanding of what I mean by nightmares. So let me explain one thing. Regardless of what happens in the dream, the next day is ruined. I'll have the dream, wake up depressed, and be haunted by thoughts and memories regardless of what I do. I could go to work, be so busy I lose track of the time or even what day it is, but I'll be constantly handed depression and bygone years on a mental platter. Not a fun day.<br /><br />In fact, that's what got me motivated to see a therapist in the first place. After having three consecutive dreams I had three horrible days missing work and classes and decided I had better move along and admit to myself I am broken.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-flsleGOUREU/TrdzEvswUcI/AAAAAAAAAuM/K3O0Ixik550/s1600/5pAI9.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 217px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-flsleGOUREU/TrdzEvswUcI/AAAAAAAAAuM/K3O0Ixik550/s320/5pAI9.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5672128781057282498" /></a><br />So with the help of being nudged to move along I again was ready to date. Not that I couldn't before or hadn't tried. But now I was ready to start piecing myself together. For anyone who doesn't know my "exit story" and "how I became an atheist story" it was also 2 months after this that I finally admitted I didn't believe and it was okay to move on from the church. It took being happy to do that, or to realize that some of my misery was coming from believing.<br /><br />After an end of July party I started my blog and then met girl #3. At least from my early journal writings and memory my perception was that it was very one-sided. She liked me, liked my blog, and I thought she was a weirdo and not my type. Upon meeting she ended up being "sophisticated" and a week later we were official. That week was bliss. I had stirrings before, but this time I recognized the feeling, the same feeling I had two weeks after dating #2, and a few months after #1. I loved this girl. And she felt it too, saying she, herself, was a romantic as well, and possibly as hopeless. The quencher with this was that she lived two states away and was just passing through.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-RzuDX1YAswE/TrdzQTVVxWI/AAAAAAAAAuY/feOxmiv0XtI/s1600/31b71b1adfd07f66b8e5ef77a975ed42-500x375.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-RzuDX1YAswE/TrdzQTVVxWI/AAAAAAAAAuY/feOxmiv0XtI/s320/31b71b1adfd07f66b8e5ef77a975ed42-500x375.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5672128979601311074" /></a><br />(Lightning Rod by Guster is good, but so are the last three songs so cycle as you please or stick with Iris)<br />So the long-distance relationship started, which was difficult, leading to some fights and arguments on the phone. I grew up as one of the biggest pricks in my class so I always take the credit for saying something rude or inconsiderate, which I'm sure I did. She said I was 'not enough of a feminist' and other things, trying to make me eat better, do more hobbies, and get out and do things. We met a few times and generally those trips were wonderful. Never bad. She came back down here, we lived together for a couple months, then separately for a couple more, then she left for grad school.<br /><br />I don't know why it went wrong, but it did, and I messed up, and this is why. Like I said, it began with interest on one side, and I grew to love her, but she wasn't "my type" and I was always reserved, and on top of this I'm broken. So anytime a fight happened I'd go do something by myself, or if she was nagging I wouldn't be afraid to fight back, regardless where we were. Some times I felt like, "well, this isn't permanent so if it get's worse you can leave" and this only fed my 'not caring.' <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-dKdfAtq8q3c/Trdzy_pgGFI/AAAAAAAAAuk/f9Ri_L8vRx4/s1600/70989-8912fe-495-486.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 314px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-dKdfAtq8q3c/Trdzy_pgGFI/AAAAAAAAAuk/f9Ri_L8vRx4/s320/70989-8912fe-495-486.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5672129575612586066" /></a><br />But now I get to the end of the matter and feel completely lost. Betrayed, drowned, and left behind. And I am left to wonder how I got here. It all culminates to this: if I feel this way now then it did matter to me, and it must've mattered a lot, so why didn't I act like it mattered? She will say it was all her; that it was bad timing in her life, she needed to get school going, doing that in Utah wouldn't happen, she was depressed about things. So if love matters on your geographical location then it wasn't meant to be. <br /><br />But I don't think anyone believes that. Sure it matters, but at some point if a sacrifice needs to be made and someone loves another, then they will favor that person over themselves. If they favor themselves then "media love" has not brainwashed them ... or their atheistic "this life is my only life" mind takes over. They have to look out for number one. <br /><br />Once it was apparent that we had issues and she may leave then I began that process of letting go, even being the one to say we should break up, much like what happened with girl #2. Of course it was not what I wanted to do, but if I couldn't make her happy then it must not have been fate, destiny, or a convenient truth or cosmological constant. <br /><br />(I Can Feel a Hot One by Manchester Orchestra would be a good, mellow closer and afterthought)<br />And then I am left feeling this way, as I do now, as she already falls in love with another while feeling pity for me and my poor sappy self. And from this, all I have learned is that the most important part of the relationship, to me, the one thing that only happens in those rare, passionate, intense and intensive relationships that people call love, that the most important thing is that I'm the person who makes them smile, who makes them laugh. That when I am in the room or on the phone that they feel content, that the world is an outsider, one that they are ready for, that being with me is inspiring, motivating, and all they need in a relationship. That if we were the last two people on earth they wouldn't have to feel lonely. <br /><br />And most likely this is because that's how I feel once I reach that point, once I truly love someone. And I've told them so; in a cloud and sky bed with girl #1, or a moss-laden clearing in the woods on May 24th with girl #2, or while lying together after an argument with #3, our essences mixing together till we could lose sense of where one began and where the other ended.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-HRZFBmR21NA/TreND-5Z2PI/AAAAAAAAAu8/SL92uY8GQv0/s1600/9409798.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 250px; height: 320px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-HRZFBmR21NA/TreND-5Z2PI/AAAAAAAAAu8/SL92uY8GQv0/s320/9409798.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5672157355259320562" /></a><br />Those were happy times, but unlike Calvin, I guess it is true that I do not have to be the one person who is happy all the time. I believe that. I understand that it's not just girls who can coldly and heartlessly move on; that I only date girls who can reach that level of love and interest and then revert to being less than friends while still being cordial. I understand that it is something about me, either in the way that I am, at the core of my person, or that my yearning for that connection is so strong and so deep that it is beyond what others either want, or can give. I can return to my old relationships in a moment, I could kiss any one of them as if we never broke up. For me, once you share something, once you commit, you stay that way whether you want to or not. There's no reverting, those feelings are there to stay, they've moved in, become comfortable, and are asking favors. Best to get along with them, they gave you so much before.<br /><br />I don't know how to stop loving someone, and after being so viciously treated, watching as loved ones slowly strangle and suffocate their love for me, willingly, for multiple reasons, after this a part of me shattered, hairline fractures like broken glass, hidden away deep inside. The definition of something being broken is that it can no longer function the way it was designed to, or wishes to. <br /><br />I can neither move on, nor express the love I have inside me. I obviously have cared before, but didn't make it work, because I either put something else first, or I couldn't get the love I had inside out in the open, the words never came to my lips, perpetual lethologica and circumlocutory speech. A synesthesia of thoughts that synthesized and never came out in the pattern I wished to paint. I can see it too, in regular conversation, I catch myself not being open with people, as to how lately I don't really do anything, though I want to, though I try. And of course little interest from others only helps my mind to confirm how little I matter.<br /><br />My brother says he only hates two things, one being a thought for later but the latter being people who pity themselves. Well, I'm certainly full of pity for my miserable self, but maybe there's hope for me if I can still feel this sort of pain. Maybe I can one day move on, looking back with a new perspective to learn from how my relationship with Kellie hasn't waned, to one day fully move on from Audrey, and to, better sooner than later, realize what Geneva meant to me and what she will have to mean to me now. <br /><br />This message has my:<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-esKFSm2kk1I/Trd0UGfCElI/AAAAAAAAAuw/W2Jff4w9vX4/s1600/546seal-of-approval.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-esKFSm2kk1I/Trd0UGfCElI/AAAAAAAAAuw/W2Jff4w9vX4/s320/546seal-of-approval.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5672130144383406674" /></a>j-doghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12418860641735535641noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2692345008570298281.post-3030601576290511562011-09-15T18:59:00.003-06:002011-09-15T19:05:10.205-06:00BYU Atheists OUTED!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-mMJF5CfYtHk/TnKgr4-wl7I/AAAAAAAAAs8/z-DHplTpjes/s1600/awesome-epic-funny-9.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 320px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-mMJF5CfYtHk/TnKgr4-wl7I/AAAAAAAAAs8/z-DHplTpjes/s320/awesome-epic-funny-9.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5652757158193829810" /></a><br />Not truly so, just yet. But the Daily Chronicle just put out an article about the group. Unfortunately some things were wrong. The group meets more than once a month, officially, and basically cliques in the group have events every day. Also at the time of the article it was getting close to 190 ppl, though some have left to avoid being caught, lol. The link can be <a href="http://www.dailyutahchronicle.com/news/the-group-utah-countys-covet-secular-community/">found here</a>. <br /><br />BYU officially made their Honor Code less ambiguous about former LDS students. Good for them. Way to bring out the normal Mormon bullshit of making matters worse. I for one am glad this all got put out there, and i even got the honorable inference of my blog being mentioned. Course, now i expect not so many people will be contacting me wishing to join the group. <br /><br />Seriously, read the article, it's good, and though BYU may be worsening their strides, this is a good stride in the right direction.j-doghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12418860641735535641noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2692345008570298281.post-87097117534198696832011-08-26T21:14:00.002-06:002011-08-26T21:26:15.904-06:00U-COR Godless Billboard<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-YcKC1OX_oNo/TlhjwK9J87I/AAAAAAAAAs0/fmcEhG8jOyg/s1600/UCOR-Billboard4.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 236px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-YcKC1OX_oNo/TlhjwK9J87I/AAAAAAAAAs0/fmcEhG8jOyg/s320/UCOR-Billboard4.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5645371812134646706" /></a>
<br />The billboard is up out on I-215. Will be up for another month or so. Here is a <a href="http://www.abc4.com/content/news/top_stories/story/Godless-billboard-in-Salt-Lake-City/1Mk-Wo3KO0u1j9AEPNvRJg.cspx">news link!</a> And now a <a href="http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2011/08/23/atheist-billboard-goes-up-in-salt-lake-city-utah/">blog link!</a>
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<br />U-COR site: <a href="http://reasonutah.org/">http://reasonutah.org/</a>
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<br />The billboard hopefully will let the non-believers in Utah and the teens who doubt but feel trapped know that there are others in similar points in life as themselves. There still manages to be many post-mos who are leaving or have left and yet are completely alone. There's also many who 'toy' with the idea of leaving but are terrified, and maybe knowing that there are others like them out there, in Utah even, will help them to make the decision.
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<br />The billboard is also completely harmless. Some atheist billboards are aggressive, this one is not. And if someone thinks it is then they are far too sensitive or just downright stupid. Traffic has risen slightly in all the groups and on webpages, and hopefully it will continue to rise.
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<br />With all of this UCOR is also in the works of creating a newsletter, perhaps monthly. I'll be helping out with that. j-doghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12418860641735535641noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2692345008570298281.post-17940277528050595912011-07-29T16:33:00.003-06:002011-07-29T16:51:48.339-06:0010 Secular Commandments!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-wpYLd0mv-bE/TjM5Z_Mg8uI/AAAAAAAAAss/vhIsSuOHrUw/s1600/179869_1787097071230_1053636748_32059665_6147634_n.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 272px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-wpYLd0mv-bE/TjM5Z_Mg8uI/AAAAAAAAAss/vhIsSuOHrUw/s320/179869_1787097071230_1053636748_32059665_6147634_n.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5634910677394060002" /></a><br />Or more truthfully, 10 ideas to live by. This list was given to me by Heretic a couple weeks ago. Looks like it's from The God Delusion and I instantly liked and i thought i would share it with all of you heathens who tackle the mountain of forming your own moral and ethical system to live by. Enjoy.<br /><br />1 - Do not to others what you would not wan them to do to you.<br />2 - In all things strive to cause no harm.<br />3 - Treat your fellow human beings, your fellow living things, and the world in general with love, honesty, faithfulness, and respect.<br />4 - Do not overlook evil or shrink from administering justice, but always be ready to forgive wrongdoing freely admitted and honestly regretted.<br />5 - Live life with a sense of joy and wonder.<br />6 - Always seek to be learning something new.<br />7 - Test all things: always check your ideas against the facts, and be ready to discard even a cherished belief if it does not conform to them.<br />8 - Never seek to censor or cut yourself off from dissent: always respect the right of others to disagree with you.<br />9 - Form independent opinions on the basis of your own reason and experience: do not allow yourself to be led blindly by others.<br />10 - Question everything. <br /><br />And because i'm betting everyone is thinking what i thought when i read these, here are the origins of some of these:<br />1 - Confucius - Silver Rule<br />2 - Possible paraphrase of Hippocrates <br />10 - Euripedes or Thomas Jefferson paraphrase of question with boldness. <br />and I'm guessing all the rest our original, or are so paraphrased that they loose any resemblance to the inspiration.j-doghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12418860641735535641noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2692345008570298281.post-1064233134346110872011-07-21T21:43:00.007-06:002011-07-21T22:15:21.556-06:00In Cognito<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-E1q9K0MHTLQ/Tij5UL6ZS4I/AAAAAAAAAsk/TVmRy4hsJKU/s1600/179875_1738208288957_1051110023_31943334_684633_n.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 266px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-E1q9K0MHTLQ/Tij5UL6ZS4I/AAAAAAAAAsk/TVmRy4hsJKU/s320/179875_1738208288957_1051110023_31943334_684633_n.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5632025459217222530" /></a><br />Small update on U-COR, they are having a BBQ with raffle an prizes this Saturday, however i'll end up being gone unfortunately and won't be able to make it. It's in Sandy UT and will be in the late afternoon and evening.<br /><br />DRIFT and SHAAFT are now pretty much official, being the atheist groups down in St. George and at UVU. Counting the smaller and more unique groups in SLC there's about a dozen now that have formed into official organizations in Utah. I feel like now's as good a time as ever to come out of the closet as an atheist or agnostic or unbeliever. For Utah especially. UCOR has some 'big' plans for the near future. <br /><br />At work i keep skipping around with my subtle books. Not literally skipping, but when i eat i read, just finished that Agnostic Reader book, couple weeks ago i was reading a book on human evolution, and now i've started Jesus Interrupted. Not that i don't read other books that really don't relate to religion or theism in any way, but probably half the time i have a book that makes the Mormon co-workers a little edgy. "Hey, jdog, what book you readin there?" , "Oh, a book on human evolution." , " ... " that's usually about it. Unless of course it's a co-worker who is undercover and maybe has read some of the same things as me. Starts a lively but short-lived discussion.<br /><br />I don't want to sound like i don't like my co-workers though, it's just that almost ALL of them are active LDS! Sometimes it's almost like church. But they know their boundaries with the work atmosphere, and that if they can talk about religion then other people can voice their differences. Well, mostly. There's one co-worker, bless her heart, who doesn't have much tact in the way of asking personal questions. We had an interesting conversation last week:<br /><br />Me "So you like science?"<br />Her "Yeah, i like genetics and biology."<br />Me "Yeah, i didn't use to ... but now my science shelf [bookshelf] is split between general and my genetics and evolution shelf."<br />Her, leaning in, "Oh, so you ... you believe in evolution?"<br />M "Well, i like to say i accept the Theory of Evolution, or rather, the Theory of Natural Selection, with a big t."<br />H "..."<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-4YjSiVUUKJc/Tij4518lfNI/AAAAAAAAAsU/TleiMkh-rOE/s1600/4da4a19ce8358.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-4YjSiVUUKJc/Tij4518lfNI/AAAAAAAAAsU/TleiMkh-rOE/s320/4da4a19ce8358.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5632025006644231378" /></a><br />M "When it comes to evolution there's enough facts that it's moved beyond a simple hypothesis, but what Darwin really brought to the table was a theory about natural selection, and it took a few decades but by the early 1900s we had enough evidence gathered for the theory that now it's hardly adjusted anymore. Really, for evolution it started with the Greeks, Plato and Aristotle being two basic examples [though Aristotle outlined the theory that would end up being true even though he fought against it, lol] and then those theories of course were lost [most libraries being burned by Christian sects] and not rediscovered till the Muslims found them and then the Christians dovetailed off their research and science."<br />H "[loosing or boring her] So, you don't believe the universe was created?"<br />M "No, i think creationism is just stupid. Well, let me specify young earth creationism. That's stupid, the earth is not 4 or 6000 years old."<br />H "No, the earth isn't 6000 years old."<br />M " Exactly, though America has one of the largest young earth creationist populations in the world. And to believe it you have to deny so much: evolution, biology, genetics, archeology, geology, astronomy, paleontology, basically all of science and just about everything the human race has ever learned about the world and the universe. It's just dumb."<br />H <tittering><br />M "I mean, i'm open to the idea that God or some entity started the ball rolling and then stepped aside, old creationism, but not young earth creationism[and i'm not really so open as i am more respectful of that view]" <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-dZRl4nudFs0/Tij5B9F6oNI/AAAAAAAAAsc/QX3MvZ34PyY/s1600/46961_1593732447225_1353342885_31582537_7552890_n.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-dZRl4nudFs0/Tij5B9F6oNI/AAAAAAAAAsc/QX3MvZ34PyY/s320/46961_1593732447225_1353342885_31582537_7552890_n.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5632025146001367250" /></a><br />Then at some point in all this i was asked if i also believed in the Big Bang and i explained the evidence for it, etc.... It was actually a fun conversation, and i may be one of the first non-LDS/non-believing persons she has ever had a real conversation with. If not then she must have a rote script for asking me what i do believe in cause it was almost cliched. Needless to say i need to just come out and tell co-workers i don't believe in gods to get rid of any possible confusion. <br /><br />I am a little wary in talking about work because i don't wish to say anything detrimental, and i hope that comes across. I just wish there were more non-believers there ... or at least fewer Mormons ... so long as they weren't born-agains, or scientologists ... actually, i wish there were more scientologists.j-doghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12418860641735535641noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2692345008570298281.post-84422276074587619552011-07-12T18:15:00.006-06:002011-07-12T18:39:00.440-06:00Thoughts from a Former BYU Atheist<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-VaVJsk0bpEc/ThzoPCDH5VI/AAAAAAAAAsM/O-1yo4j7h5I/s1600/4da49f82c24c9.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 236px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-VaVJsk0bpEc/ThzoPCDH5VI/AAAAAAAAAsM/O-1yo4j7h5I/s320/4da49f82c24c9.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5628628979251930450" /></a><br />So regardless of whether or not I post on here I actually have plenty of thoughts and things I could post. Here's some random thoughts I'll throw out there and maybe write posts in the future, cause to be honest, writing on the blog has somehow dropped off my top ten things to do daily list. <br /><br />The group is almost to 200, and may be over counting all the people who come hang out and do things but are not on the FB page. We still need more adults, but it's finally spreading out. <br /><br />I don't think atheism is a religion. It has been brought up on here before, in the group, on the FB page, and in conversation with friends. I think there's actually some merit to this discussion as religions do not have to have gods but usually exclude other religion's gods ... which already atheism fits in to on one level. However, I think when you form a criteria for what religion is when compared to, say, just being spiritual, then compare those to atheism ... then you'd see atheism as anything but a religion. But more on that later.<br /><br />I did my I Am An Ex-Mormon video. So did my gf. I was surprisingly nervous and so I don't think i did nearly as well as i would have hoped but i suspect Daniel will be able to save it.<br /><br />Totally watched The Prestige with the Leavitt family, awesome movie and awesome family.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-NeK7NOQropU/ThzoHrbRkjI/AAAAAAAAAsE/8fjwxc6rXAQ/s1600/hellfire.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 320px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-NeK7NOQropU/ThzoHrbRkjI/AAAAAAAAAsE/8fjwxc6rXAQ/s320/hellfire.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5628628852920128050" /></a><br />In the last month i think the Utah Valley group has gotten a couple dozen new people with the advent of summer and new semester approaching.<br /><br />Have a few friends who are/were/or may be disowned by their families due to not believing in the church anymore. Go Mormons for the win!<br /><br />I've read some new good books I will comment on at some point soon, some not related directly to atheism. Has anyone else noticed that the Atheism section at Barnes and Noble is about to need to spread to a second shelf? 5 years ago I don't think there was an atheism section, 2 years ago it shared space with Linguistics, now it's pushing out at the seams and needs a second shelf. Yeah, I think I joined the fad JUST before it was cool, go me. <br /><br />One reoccurring theme I've seen lately is how Christian's didn't start the dark ages and Christian history is full of the greatest inventions. I talked about this before. How about Islamic culture led for science, especially after rediscovering the Greeks, and then Christianity dovetailed off them, and then how most of the greatest scientists from the later ages usually were Christian but not usually very strong in their faith and sometimes openly opposed popular theologies, and often were persecuted by Christian churches, plural. I don't see the correlation that Christianity means great thinkers, how about Europe produced a lot of innovations that overtook the world. And in that sense, how about China has usually led the world except for about 200 years and may be regaining it's position of leadership, which has been the norm.<br /><br />Found another atheist at work, even though most employees are Mormons. <br /><br />I feel completely disconnected from the atheist group in Utah Valley, and I'm usually too busy or tired to do anything with the groups up in SLC. Still, regardless of if i post or not people still find my blog and then join the group, lol.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-EuXMXD4Fsjo/Thzn8d5JtQI/AAAAAAAAAr8/p5km-IdjIJ8/s1600/30050_1289763046336_1298017263_30670274_6199483_n.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 286px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-EuXMXD4Fsjo/Thzn8d5JtQI/AAAAAAAAAr8/p5km-IdjIJ8/s320/30050_1289763046336_1298017263_30670274_6199483_n.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5628628660308784386" /></a><br />Read a book on Judaism where it talked about how English was designed with some mal-intent against Jews and that the English language has specific words that are derogatory to Jews or misrepresent Jews and their beliefs where if we want to understand the Jews we may need to leave the English language behind at some points. Didn't take me long to wonder if this is also true of atheists, especially with English definitions of atheism compared to, say, Asian views of those who don't believe in gods.<br /><br />Asian holy books are far more inspiring than the Qur'an and definitely the Bible.<br /><br />That's it for now, ciao.j-doghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12418860641735535641noreply@blogger.com4